Day 1 - Musical Truth Challenge - My Life ~MJB

Day 1.  Which song would serve as your introduction?  (to the world, blog reader, friends, this challenge)

"life can be only what you make it when your feeling down you should never fake it say what's on your mind and you'll find in time that all of the negative energy it will all cease" 
My favorite line in this song and something i live by i won't hide my disappointment my feelings nor my opinion. I am such a big follower of her and this song defines me all day.


30 Days of Musical Truth Challenge Intro

30 Days of Musical Truth Challenge:

In addition to Love, Truth, and Eroticism, Music is another one of those things that is universal.  Every where a person goes, you are guaranteed to hear some type of music.  What is music to some may be noise to someone else.  Songs can also relate to different points in a person's life.

This challenge seeks to draw out the connect between music and your experience.

Not stamping a month on it; I only ask for thirty days. Yes, you can choose more than one song if you cannot settle on just the one and describe why that particular song/songs.

Day 1.  Which song would serve as your introduction?  (to the world, blog reader, friends, this challenge)

Day 2.  Which song best describes your relationship with your immediate family (mother, father, siblings)?

Day 3.  Which song best describes your bond with your kids, significant other, or if you don’t have either one of those, your closest/best friend?

Day 4.  You’re on a date where the only highlight was the place he selected.

Day 5.  You’re out on a date you sense the final destination will be horizontal or on top. (winks)

Day 6.  Which song would represent the best sexual experience ever?  If you haven’t had it yet, one from your fantasies?

Day 7.  Which song would represent your worst sexual encounter?  If you haven’t had one yet, which song would play to represent if you had one?

Day 8.  It’s extremely hot or cold.

Day 9.  Battling traffic to and from wherever you are headed.

Day 10.  Getting ready to go to work or looking for work.

Day 11.  You’re doing your workout routine or trying to get motivated to exercise.

Day 12.  At work, you’re dealing with a customer , co-worker, or boss who pisses you off.  What song goes through your mind? (any stage of this engagement will do)

Day 13.  Your boss tells you that "your services are no longer needed."

Day 14.  You just experienced a death in the family.

Day 15.  You’re trying to decide which magazine to buy at the check lanes but you are clearly in line.  You are so busy checking out the titles that you don’t notice until it’s too late that someone cut in front of you .

Day 16.  The landlord wants his rent money; it’s day twenty and your money is going to be delayed for another ten days.

Day 17.  Someone has borrowed money from you and has been ducking and dodging you for weeks in regards to payback.

Day 18.  You are having a very off day and just don’t want to be bothered.

Day 19.  Your child does something to violate your trust; what soundtrack would mark his/her Doomsday?

Day 20.  Someone is talking shit about you on the Internet (face book, my space, twitter, etc.)

Day 21.  Your worst breakup ever~what wound be the main song on the soundtrack?

Day 22.  The very people you thought would hold you down at your worst have abandoned you.

Day 23.  You were in a deep state of anxiety, fear, and depression but you are slowly but surely coming out of it.  What song marks your revival?

Day 24.  You are on a dream vacation.

Day 25.  You are about to indulge in your favorite food or drink to wind down.

Day 26.  You’re feeling your sexy; name that tune.

Day 27.  You’re getting cabin fever from being in the house and just want to get out for the night.  What’s your joint?

Day 28.  Someone who hurt you in the past comes back for a second chance.  Depending on your response, what’s the song?

Day 29.  Dedicational song to the person/people who always had your back?

30.  Compose your own song.  Describe the type of beat…or what song it would be similar to.  What would be the lyrics (of if its’ going to be an instrumental explain why).  What would be the title?  Also share what, if anything, you learned through this challenge.


Throwback 2010 - The Bitch Is Back

The pain is unbearable my story is clear you know
Some ppl should be embarrassed yo
If I spill the real shit on this flow
Im tired of silly muthafuggas tho
Im ready to take of heads so
Don’t try me ill crush ya manhood whoa
The bitch with an itch
To make you feel like zero Zippo zilch
You are nothing without my endorsement
My pitch
Make people reach out by the dozens
Feel ya steelo and how it fits
Into my aura
My Zen
It’s my stitch
Im in rare form
Your local bad habit
Cutting you off from ya fix
Slow painful withdrawal
A sure thing
The insatiable seductive diva
That’s me
A beast with a pen
A new time to begin
Got a lot of stress filling my rack
Imma let it flow through my fingertips
Yeah the bitch is back.


Un-Raveled ~ Back to Me Freestyle

breaking up with my feelings
need to detach to secure my sanity
i need to practice selfishness
stop the insanity
of being made to be last in standing
I've stopped being so demanding
i cant for the life of me
determine what went wrong
I'm beautiful
I'm strong
I'm responsible
i get my freak on
i turned my life into a song
"if you look in my life you'll see what i see"
you will vibe with me
embrace me
i turn the sexy on
without the trash
i have class
and a voluptuous ass
i cant verify every mistake in my past
is sending me through this twilight zone
why do i always tackle this shit alone
who said i don't deserve the happily ever after
who said every struggle
must fall in my lap
who does that?
the butterflies have disappeared
the evidence is pointed out
conversation has made it clear
that there is still a road for me to travel
the reigns have been unraveled
I'm off this horse
I'm shining up my saddled
happier trails are ahead of me
on a road I'm familiar with
but I'm going in a direction that by me has been
recently less traveled
back to me.


Day 30 - Love and Truth Challenge Finale - Love you Better

30~ Did this love challenge teach you anything? If so/not...what/why?
*looking up at the specimen of a God* 
Baby smile today

Cuz I've been imaging more ways
I'm gon' love you better
When your friends'll see you too
Just when you think there's nothin' else I can do
I'm gon' love you better
~LLCoolJ - Luv you better

This challenge has taught me a very important lesson. I have been loved and i have loved plenty. I have learned that i have given alot of love without much genuine reciprocation. I have embraced that I'm guilty of breaking some hearts and messing up some things that could have possibly been successful if i BELIEVED in that person. 

I have also been encouraged to demand more. I love hard....real hard. I am very dedicated and patient. I don't think those are bad qualities but some don't deserve all that. I need to be loved better. The song luv you better by LLCoolJ represents how i need to be approached. I have so much love to give. I have so much space to embrace love. I don't wanna keep rambling cause I'll make myself mad. Simply..."I just wanna be loved like everybody else does...i just wanna be loved" ~Jill Scott.
Thanks for keeping up with me and Thanks Kween for the therapeutic journey.


Day 29 - Love you for life

29. Write a Love Letter to your soulmate (whether you feel you’ve met them or not)

Hey love I’m glad we found each other. You make my world more beautiful, more bearable. You inspire my smile. You make my heart pitter patter every time you walk in the room. Our conversations are without limits. We agree to disagree. You take my feelings into consideration and care what’s going on with me. The day I walk down the aisle and the pastor announces “I now pronounce you man and wife” will be the best day of my life. (besides the birth of my children) I plan to grow old with you. I plan to be there for you when and if you need me. I will never put your needs above my wants because we are a team. I will gift you the best part of me, my heart. I will enlighten you with my spirit and I will love you from my soul. I will love you for life. I will only pray you will reciprocate the same sentiment. Love always, Angela.


Day 28 - Bed buddy anyone?

28. If you had a choice between a love relationship and just sex (guaranteed)… which would you choose?

i have had just a sex based relationship when i was younger and bitter at the relationship thing. But today i wouldnt be able to deal with just sex relationship. I dont wanna be 40 years old still messing with a bed buddy. I love to be in love. I dont know if the current situation doesnt work, i dont find myself interested in another relationship. Only thing even if you have an understanding with someone that "this is just sex" you may develope feelings for that person or vice versa. thats just human nature or me. When i give someone my body its a experience not an action. i have had plenty of opportunities to just be someone's bed buddy...but i dont want that anymore. I want to be someones wife, soulmate, lover, and friend. I choose love over lust anyday. 

Day 27 - Working my way back to you baby

27. Does anyone you’ve broke up with still love and pursue you? 

Yes, and unfortunately I keep shooting him down, I just feel we have too much drama in our past. He is funny. He is trying to do better for his self. I am still familiar with most of his family. But he came back around when I got with my current mate. I cannot risk another disappointment. Sometimes I don’t think we realize that we have to leave well enough alone to maintain balance in our love life. I’ve overstepped that boundary before but not with this particular dude. The past can bite you in the ass sometimes when you reopen that can of worms. No thank you. :)


Day 26 - Age aint nothing but a number

26~ If your young daughter or son came to you and told you they were in love with someone your age...what would your response be?

I couldn’t even hate on my kid. My first boyfriend/experience was 24 and I was 17. He treated me well didn’t force me into anything I believe he was gentle with me and truthful. Had my nose open like no one’s business. My mother really wasn’t around to speak on her thoughts. Of course my kid would have to be over 18+ and out my house for me not to have a say in anything. I would encourage them to make sure they look towards the future and see that person existing. Is the person trustworthy?(do a background check if you have to). Just dot some I’s and cross some T’s cause dealing with someone older than you will miss some things cause they have already experienced most of the things you haven’t. Basically just do your homework and don’t mistake love for lust. We always wanna have some control in our children life even after they have their own life but you might face not being in it if you make waves.

Day 25 - How to Love

25 – Looking back on your life…who taught you the most about what love is/isn't?

That damn Lil Wayne/tunechi song is racing through my head as I type this
 “You had a lot of moments that didn’t last forever, now you in the corner tryna put it together, How to love, how to love” How to Love by Lil Wayne

Giving honor to God first cause his love for us should always be the template of how we share our love with the world. Only thing, we are human and we don’t forgive as easily. Yes I started off with him cause he is so busy in my life right now. God has calmed me down when I let him.

I met this guy named Fresh in December of 2009 on MySpace and he was pursuing me but I was out of a bad situation at the time and didn’t wanna be bothered. He respected that I didn’t wanna get into nothing and kept it friendly. I had a few qualms about him he was younger than me, kind of wet behind the ears, but he was also what I needed at the time. We stayed about 25 min away from each other so we nixed the MySpace convos and spoke by phone. I decided to go head and give him a chance, cause hell I had been through some bull in the past couple years.

We started out beautifully he was attentive, romantic, loving and good around my kids. Fast forward to about a year and a half and we still going strong. He loved to argue with me (Taurus) we disagreed on so many things in life I charged it to his age. He was at least 7yrs younger, but didn’t act like that. He had college under his belt, job, and wasn’t a bum. He would rather be in the house with me than hit a club. I was the opposite cause I didn’t like to be “suffocated”. We moved in together which was a first for me cause I had never lived with any man. He worked, cooked, cleaned, and cared for the kids better than their own dad.  I had to get used to a lot of things but it worked out. I was truly a bitch to this dude sometimes. We went through some real live shit. He didn’t budge he was there with me when he could have jumped up and dipped. He taught me that love and just for the good times. It’s all the time. He in his 25+ years of life had brought me such happiness and appreciation. We broke up several times between the 2+ years that we were together but this last one was for the best. He taught me about sacrificing for love and success…I appreciate that.

Isn’t love…imma give that to a dude who at the beginning of this challenge I said he would make the lineup. His name was Paul. I thought Paul was corny, funny looking, and corny. I gave him a chance because we were introduced by mutual friends. We had a okay start  and everything was all good. Sex was mediocre and conversation was limited cause we both worked long hours. We hung out together a lot. We had a lot of people who were amazed by how “cute” we were out in public. Things started getting weird when his ex started showing up and out even though I was told she was into women and not him. I ignored it then things were not adding up. This was a situation of everyone knows but me. He was sneaky, he was going behind my back seeing her. Instead of him saying look I’m going to try again with her it’s been real, this dude disrespected my feelings and followed his heart. Instead of being a man and keeping it 100 he broke my lil heart. I took it personal and I till this day still hold him responsible for attitude when it comes to stepping out my comfort zone when dating. When I see him now I feel like he did me a favor. A big one. Thanks asshole. LOL


Day 24 - It was for the best...

24~ Have you broken anyone's heart?

24~ Have you broken anyone's heart?
Yeah it wasn’t intentional of course. The love just wasn’t there for me anymore. There was a big issue cause we share a child together. Everything was good the entire pregnancy until I gave birth to my daughter. Then came the possessiveness. The lack of trust and the constant phone calls at work…while he was at work, if I was out…drove me nuts.
Good father, a great hustler/worker, and a wonderful lover but just couldn’t make me happy. I needed more I was 25 and still trying to live. I hated for someone not to trust me. If I walked out the house too cute, spoke to a male co-worker while he was on the phone with me, etc. he was all in his feelings. I was a bad mother cause I wanted to kick it… he was only mad cause he was stuck in the house with the child he went hard for. One day while having one of are “discussions” I told him this isn’t what I want and I want to get out in the world and see what else is out here. He looked at me and said “I can’t believe you bitch, I hate your fuggin guts”… I blanked out after the bitch word. I heard nothing thereafter I told him to bounce and if he didn’t like what I had to say fine but he better not neglect his responsibilities regarding our daughter.
I don’t feel I’m wrong it was the truth. I can’t pretend to love someone if I really don’t. I loved him just not in the way he felt for me. I’m not a great pretender so I did him a big favor. Every girlfriend he had thereafter he compared to me…had my phone played on and had help his relationships fell apart according to him cause they just wasn’t me. He had dreams of marrying the woman who bore his child. I was in a different place mentally so it would have been a bust for sure. But what a beautiful gift we share because of our union. He told me one day last month that I was as sexy as I was the day I gave birth to her. Of course I closed the door In his face…we aint traveling that road again IJS.


Day 23 - Go together like a horse and carriage...

23~ Do you think love and marriage are synonymous?

Yes i do think love and marriage are synonymous. Why not get married if your are in love? Not day one or just a few months into a relationship, but i think people who are truly in love desire to be forever connected in the biblical sense. I know i am not gonna be running round here throwing flowers and saying I'm in love and be with someone 20+ years and they never ask for my hand in marriage. But check it that's me. I haven't been married but when i do say "I Do" there is going to be love involved. That's my take on this question.

Day 22 - Lets make a love scene...

22~ Create the perfect love scene
"Lets make a love scene between me and you erotic moment for an audience of two" ~ Joe "love scene"
 He walks in from work to a glass of Hennessy, his lovely bride in her most seductive lingerie directing him to his favorite chair. She kisses him softly on the cheeks and proceeds to remove his shoes and undo his tie and she sits casually on his lap and let's him know how much she missed him and how well she will be taking care of him this evening. 

She has to feed him before she gives him something he can feel. Steak, shrimp, garlic potato...are on the menu. She allows him to eat while she runs his bath (bath for two) and finishes setting the bedroom up. She comes down to check on her man...only to be swept up in his arms as he whispers "damn the food baby, You taste better" He sets her atop the the kitchen counter and devours the main entree like a hungry wolf...this goes on for a good while...but who is complaining. 

they make their way upstairs for a dip in the tub even tho he wanted to pound her out something awful he knew she had plans for them and he couldn't disappoint. They made mad passionate hot erotic love in the tub (for two) until the water turned unbearably cold. The fun wasn't over as she started to dry off he bent her over the bathroom sink  and gave her what she needed deep long slow strokes that coated him member well...by that time they were both exhausted and decided to retire to the bed for the night. What a sight when he drew back the covers and..... double the pleasure double the fun...had just begun.

She invited a friend to to the entertainment...

*this all i got this week y'all* (shrugs)


Day 21 - "Bermuda Bahama come on pretty mama"

21~ What is the most romantic location you would want to visit?
"Bermuda Bahamas come on pretty mama to Key Largo Montego baby we can go down to Kokomo we'll get their fast and then we'll take it slow"

My choice would be the Hawaii/Bahamas, i was all set to go this upcoming September with my boo but some things didn't work out so i'm not. I had plans of making this the most enjoyable time of my life with the man i love. We will get there soon i guess this was not the right time for us to go. 

I hear the water and the land is beautiful and clean. Making love under the stars and waking up to beautiful sunrises and sunsets. I haven't been out the country in a long time but i plan on doing it soon. Okay i'm disappointed again. Blog over.


Day 20 - Distant Lover.....computer love

20~ Do you believe in Long Distance/Internet Love? Why or Why not?  Yes i believe in both/experienced both.
Pictured above is my ex boyfriend Darryl we had a 2 1/2 year relationship even tho I live in Cleveland and he lived in Mobile, Alabama. I was on vacation August 24,2005 when i met him. swept me off my feet with all that southern hospitality and charm. We moved fast, too fast. We made love the night Hurricane Katrina touched down. Wind blowing alarms going off and windows boarded up...we forgot we were in danger. For 2 years i flew back in forth visiting at least twice a month and it worked until he allowed someone to obtain my number and call me. I wasn't dumb i knew the distance was hard for him but i never thought it would get back to me. I spent Mardi Gras of 2007 with him and his family and cried like a baby when i got to the airport (i told him bout  the phone call) cause i knew i wasn't coming back....and he knew it too. We still check on each other from time to time. Long distance is hard but works for people who are honest patient and are truly in love.

 I believe internet love is cool. Picture above is Billy aka Billy Best Dressed (Y360)
We had a thing going on for a long time. I was his internet boo...so to say. We talked all day every day. We Skype'd Messenger, phone sex you name it. We never connected in person tho. He lived in California and was a bit of a ladies man as i soon found out from the backdoor messages i got from many people. He made me happy and i think that was more than enough. I had been celibate for 7+months when we met and made it an official year thanks to the distance. I wouldn't do it now cause i desire a more hands on relationship. Trust is important with both of these relationships.

Day 19 - Love All Over Me

19~ What do you love to do the most? 

I love that i can be me at all times...I love when times get hard, I can't sulk I cant wait for the world to stop I keep it moving. I love my life the most and everyone that is in it voluntarily. 


Day 18 - Stuck in the middle with you...

18~ Have you ever been in a love triangle...with you as the object of desire?

i've been in this position self inflicted tho. I was dating this guy and he cheated on me and we fell out. didnt see him for months and didnt care. I met a guy out and about and we kicked it for a while i decided to be intimate with him and it was intense...very intense. 

One day he is over and he sees pics of my ex and says its his ex-wife brother...I'm like wow and oh well I'm gonna continue to see him. We were just bed buddies at that point. Fast forward a few months and the ex is trying to get back in good with me. We have a few dates nothing serious. things tapered off with me and the other dude ( i got bored) He was not a stable guy as i found out. I saw him out at the club several times spoke briefly and kept it moving. 

Late one night early morning after i get in from the club. My doorbell ringing and someone knocking...i look off the porch and its the dude . I'm pissed cause he showed up unannounced acting crazy. Y'all he flattened my tired and bust out my window...on my car. Told him i was cool on him we were done. He fixed my stuff the next day and we were done. But he also said he was gonna tell ole boy about us... i said cool cause i didn't owe neither ANYTHING. Secret out but they still chasing the budda juice. I told them both i was cool cause i couldn't put myself in the middle of their (friendship/brotherinlaw) thing. I could have did it y'all but nope. 


Day 17 - A Teenage Love

17~ Do you think young people can fall in love and it be true?
Bust this, two people, they really like each other
He says their's no one else And she claims they're is no other The feelins are same, and you receive a notion To reveal your inner thoughts deeply hit emotion a teenage love, a teenage love dont hurt me again dont, dont , dont hurt me again ~ Slick Rick "Teenage Love" 

I think love doesnt have an age limit. Many of our young people fall into situations and get close and they discover what we call "puppy love". Nowadays they get to see so much and hear so much they are mistaking lust for love. They have the capability to love the same way we do...we just choose caution after we experience love/heartache.

They are more than capable of distinguishing the difference between the two. When i was a young lady i was in love with someone for years. Did he love me the same or was he hungry for the pure untouched virginity i was keeping hostage? I will never know but he treated me well and i didnt know anything different.
So yep young people can love and be loved...wholeheartedly.


Day 16 - The first time I looked into you eyes I cried....

16~ Do you believe in love at first sight?
*hehehe that picture had me cracking up* Clears throat okay back to blog...

Love at first sight hmmm... i think you can fall into strong like at first sight. I have to say i have fell in love with shoes at first sight...man i love shoes and a bad pair of stilleto's will cause me to go into my rainy day fund to grab a great pair. I will get them joints break em in and its magic every time i put them on.

I don't think you can actually fall into love just by looks. I have to have more when you open your mouth and your vocab doesn't match your outside its a turn off. Not saying you gotta be the finest muthafugga on earth but your swag can be on 1 trillion and that's sexy. The intelligence flowing from your lips would be a instant ""i dig/love this guy response. Its crazy that i love being in love but i cant fathom me saying i'm in love at first sight just by seeing someone's outside appearance. Attraction is only 65% of the puzzle for me.

Again i must interject my babies who i fell in love with those babies at first kick in the womb...  


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