Day 15 - I John 4:8

15~ Can you live without a love relationship?

I don't think i will never live without love....cause God is love. 
I might be lonely i might have a million cats running around and the mailman is my only form of communication but as long as i got Jesus in my life i can never have a life without love. Yeah that's my final answer.

I John 4:8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.


Day 14 - Let's take a long walk....

14. Recreate your most romantic date (a real one)

This is a hard one cause most of the time I’m trying to clear my head of the past bullshit but here goes.
Been sitting here for 10-15 minutes and…..I got nothing.  I can tell you that one of the most romantic fantasy dates for me would be an evening of conversation, a nice walk along the lake during sunset. A nice seafood restaurant, with dim lights, good music and great company. Going to a grown folk’s spot that plays nothing but grown folks music with reasonable drink prices, and nice servers. A date that will get up and boogie with me and rub my feet when they start hurting. He would take me home and come in for a nightcap (me or the Hen) and we would wake up and implant that memory forever in our data bank. Not saying I haven’t had one of these dates I just can’t say I have had my most romantic date as of yet… in one way or the other there was romance. 


Day 13 - Flaws & All

13~ Do you believe in unconditional love?

My thoughts on unconditional love is the love i receive from my children. They love me like i love my mom. No matter what she does, says i love her no different. I've found that kinda of love with them is priceless.

Now with the grown folks its different. People can say i love you no matter what and then something crazy happens and the love is gone. *pause* 
"After the love is gone what used to be right is wrong can whats been lost be found" ~ Earth Wind & Fire.

I don't know about y'all but i feel like its unconditional when the person can accept that your not perfect and you will not always live up to their standards. I honestly can say there is no limit on unconditional love...some people will go through the fire and the rain for their love. They will endure the cheating, the one sided relationship, the lack of attention cause they love the person so much.

 My answer is yes i believe in unconditional love. Its hella unreachable in my opinion. 
I cry with Beyonce on the video below cause its very rare to find someone who accepts u at your best and your worst.


Day 12 - Signs of Love...

12~ Do you believe in zodiac compatibility? Who is your best match from experience? You worst?

I believe your zodiac has some effect on your compatibility as well as just normal personality traits. I wouldn't rely on it as a guide but i can say my life resembles my horoscope most of those Qualities above are all about me.

My current boyfriend is a Virgo 

Modest and shy 

Meticulous and reliable 

Practical and diligent intelligent 

with dark side of 

Fussy and a worrier 

Overcritical and harsh 

Perfectionist and conservative.(horoscope.com)

He exhibits most the qualities that Virgo's have but we mesh well together...

I know i have to say Taurus Aries and Capricorn men are a definite no-no for me. Those signs are definitely as stubborn as i am and it just would not balance out. i don't really follow zodiacs to chose my man... I just don't. Here's Tyrese take on "The signs of love makin' "

Day 11 - Love don't love me....

11~ whom (no names, if you prefer) did you love, who didn't love you back?
I hesitated on this one cause I couldn't think of anyone who didn’t love me but then again hindsight is 20/20. Clear as glass. I usually don’t speak of one particular clown cause the situation is still a sensitive one. This one I have to say was a lesson learned for me.
You can’t judge a book by the cover is surely right. This occurred in mid 2007/early 2008. Introduced to this dude who wasn’t my type at all but what the hell I stepped outside of the box. He was popular, he bartended and DJ’d Spotlight type of fellow. He was sweet to me we spent a few days & nights together and I started to dig him. His bedroom game wasn’t all that but he was charming and sexy. He had an issue with being tied down and I knew it by the crowd of women that followed him like lost puppies. But I still assumed I could “change him”.
I asked him what he felt for me one day and he said you cool, sexy, funny and he was fond of me then BUT came into the atmosphere. “I aint ready to be tied down right now”. (He recently divorced) so that was my cue to put it down on him one more time and excused myself from his presence for good. I wasn’t looking for a bed buddy. I found out from a friend of a friend he said he wished he hadn’t kicked it with me like that cause we used to be close before that. It was my own fault because I didn’t do my homework before I put my heart on the line. He today is still my dude because hey it didn’t work out but there is no reason we can’t be cool. I’m always cool and not petty ask any of my exes except for the clown i wont mention. 


Day 10 - Cause I love Y'all...

10~ List 10 people you love and explain what they mean to you
1. God - he has been there for me since conception and birth he is the reason i live and can pick my head up and keep it moving when life gets to hard.

2. My mother - This lady went through the fire and the storm to make sure we had what we needed and taught us a big lesson about sacrifice. She is my rock she tells me straight forward answers when i ask. That's where i get it from. That's my Honey.

3. My kids - Briana & Brandon those two lil angels make everything in my life worth it. I love my kids with every fiber within me. If i wasn't a mother i have no idea where i would be in life...they love me with no conditions.

4. My siblings - Deon and Theresa We grew up poor, we were deprived of many holiday "normals" and were taught how to just get by. We all have grown up to be beautiful human beings. I love my brother and sister cause we are transparent with each other. There is no show boating or I'm doing this and ur not type of bullshit. We know where we came from.
me and my sister Rissa
my big bruh on the right Deon

5. My Aunt Brenda - she will never know how much her finding us and connecting us with our father side of the family has cleared up some questions for me. It still hasn't been violins and birds chirping but I'm glad to know everyone. She has always been good to me and i love her to pieces.

6. My homies Adrienne and Demetrya- there are not many females i can be bothered with but these two are closes to me. There are like night and day but i love it. They are my sisters...they are not my blood but i confide in, can be transparent with, and they aren't on the nonsense that most of the ladies i have been affiliated with be on. They are great mothers and providers just like myself. that's why i love them.

7. My girls - Lasherri, Tamarra, Amenika. These three ladies have been in my life for the past 6-7 years. We were coworkers first and then we branched out as friends. Lasherri has been there when she didn't have to be. She has came through for me  when no one else cared. I dint have to call her and ask for nothing. We talk like sisters and she told me recently I'm too hard on people and it stuck cause i know she meant that in the most girl get it together way. Tamarra my gospel sister when i met her i was afraid to curse in her presence. She was a wife, church going gospel singing nurse who had everything in the right place. She quickly told me she had to go through it it to get to it (the place she is now) She shares her happiness through her smile...that's my girl. Amenika is the exact replica of me she is no nonsense woman who will put you in your place quickly we share the same disdain for stupid ppl and stupid shit. I can call and talk to her and its like talking to myself. She is honest too.

8. My friend Al  - Even tho we don't roll as hard as we used to this one knows alot about me. They have seen me at my best and my worst. Al has ALWAYS been a staple in my world he can read me when I'm not being a 100% we always pick up where we left off. Life has a way of sending the right ppl in your life at the right time.
9. My cyber divas- Kali, Joy, and Lee-Lee - Kali we haven't met offline but we have talked on the phone and she has been beneficial to my life. She is candid honest and she of course LISTENS to what you have to say. I've borrowed her ear many of times and embraced her honesty. She doesn't give advice she gives her take on life and that's always appreciated. Joy - i remember the day she called me when i got admitted into the hospital to check on me. She dint have to do that but she did. Her ability to where her heart on her sleeve has encouraged me to continue to just BE me and let the world catch on to my wings. Lee-Lee is my girl from 360 we used to chat it up all the time. One day i spoke to her on the phone for like 2 hrs. she live in Cali and I Cleveland. She told me her struggles and from that day forward i knew she had a story to tell and ppl needed to listen. I can say she has been a great person towards me. I love these three as my extended sisters and they need to know that.
10. I LOVE MEEEEEEEE! No one can love me like me. No one will console me like me. No one will have my back for me like me. no one will encourage me like me. I am beautiful, comfortable in my skin and ready to finish out this life loving all over myself. 

Day 9 - Ball till ya fall in Love

9~ Tell us about the first time you ever made love (not had sex)
His name was Andre Ball. He was 6' 5" 225+ solid. Light skinned and very much in charge. It took me a while to open up to this guy. He was bout his business. Had me in check for sure. His mission was to put me on to the better thangs in life and he did. He was aggressive at time but a big ass teddy bear when he was curled up near me. 
Dre was one of them guys who was feared in the streets but wanted by all the gold digging females. He told me one day after us being together for little over 9 months that he was in love with me and wanted to leave the fast life alone. Of course i didn't believe him cause of the baggage i was carrying from my son's dad...so it was whatever. One evening/night we went out dinner, club, after hours spot them to the house where i thought he was leaving me to head back to the grind. Not he came on in with me...not normal.

He said with the most serious face I'm about to make love to you so good its gone blow ya mind and you are gonna have my baby... 0_o (in my head) I'm like whatever dude i just wanna bust a nut...but he was serious and brought it. From the full body massage, to the twelve play he delivered, to the tears that ran down my face as he talked that sweet shit in my ear and made love to every inch of me...i felt love i didn't feel lust, i didn't second guess it as a drunken lust session. We fucked many times and it was never this deep. He feel asleep on my breast and woke up and replayed the events from the night before. From that day i could love in everything he said, did and when i was with him i felt secured.

I gotta tell the truth in this challenge so here goes... I was pregnant from that night of passion but opted for a abortion in my 7th week. :(. That man never forgave me for that. He wanted to have a child with me, he wanted to have a relationship with me. Unfortunately i couldn't see myself with a street nukka for the rest of my life. I hope all is well and everything worked out for him. He loved me down that night and i wont forget him or how my decision ended our love story. Alright I'm sad. Done.


Day 8 - Who will i choose?

8~ Do you think you can be in love with two people at the same time?
I think you can...just cause a relationship ends and another one begins doesn't mean you don't still have feelings for the person you once were head over heels for. It turns into a different kind of love at that point. 
i love what we had
i love when we did that
i love the day you
i love every moment of
you don't forget you just focus that attention on someone who deserves it at the present time. 
Like the song Jasmine Sullivan sings "I'm in love with another man" she didn't tell her boo that she didn't love him any less but she did say my heart it with someone else. I would recommend leading two people on cause they will not understand why you are conflicted especially if they are planted into the relationship.

Another song Who will i choose by Chris Bender he says "one girl fulfill my physical needs, the other other girl provides for me mentally" He has different reasons why he loves these two women. It's not right but that's where his heart is..
My answer is yes you can but you have to choose eventually...


Day 7- Have you ever?

7. Have you ever loved somebody deeply? Explain
Yes I have...i can honestly say I have. Ive been in many relationships where there had been "strong like" but didn't reach the plateau of head over heels.
I can say I was in love with my son's father. He prolly was my first love honestly. He had my nose wide open, and to this day I can say I love him from day one. My mom used to say it was puppy love cause I wasn't very experienced.
He could tell me any thing and I would be like "OK Reggie" He had my little heart in the palm of his hands. He would laugh at my multiple pages (it was the 90's)  to his pager. He loved that I was sweating him. His kiss was gentle, his hands were mechanical, his words were like music and I was his audience.
In hindsight i think he is the reason I'm so hell bent on never being so in love I forget about my standards. I bore his child in December of 1997 alone suffering from preeclampsia...that's when I  knew I was deeply in love alone....and let him go. Its gonna take a superman to  get deep in that spot ever again.


Day 6 - Love and Truth Challenge - Tru Love

Day 6- What is your idea of true love?

True love to me is love you never have to question. You never have to doubt that the person is for you and you for them. You know in your heart and soul that this may be the one for you.

True love is always seen in my kids eyes they love their mother so much and since the day i discovered they were floating around in my pelvic area i knew i would have love forever. That's my guaranteed true love.

When your heart pitter patters every time he or she is in the same room. When they are hurting you are hurting. When your on cloud nine they are floating right next to you. You never have to ask yourself is this too much, no its just right. True love doesn't mean birds chirping and flowers blooming all the time.

There should never be a thought that every day will be perfect. You will argue, disagree, you will not see eye to eye on every single thing. If you do agree on EVERYTHING, to me something wrong and the shit will hit the fan sooner or later. Its okay to differ in opinion but come to a fair compromise.

True love is unquestionable. Unbreakable and has no rules. Its unconditional flaws and all.


Day 5 - Love and Truth Challenge- "I gotta Love Jones"

5~ Favorite Romantic Movie
Love Jones Featuring Lorenz Tate and Nia Long...my favorite romantic movie.

I love this movie have watched it 1,000 times and I still get misty when they kiss at the end of the movie.It has a poetic edge to it as he (Darrius Lovejoy) woos Nina with his way with words and the ability to make her smile. She is a nostalgic photographer with major baggage and he is an author with a few of his own relationship demons. They mesh well together until misunderstanding and a lack of honesty separates the two. This movie reminds me that you cant put people into situation hoping for a certain reaction or thinking i'm gonna do this and see what happens. Don't play around with love. 

Im a fan of both these actors so to see them together in that film was wonderful. The song that plays in my head when i think of this movie is Kem's Love Calls  "there's nowhere to hide when love is calling your name you fall apart". I'll share with you the spoken word he dropped to catch her ear and capture her heart. *snap snap* my friends. A blues for Nina (Brotha to the night)


Day 4 - L&T Challenge - Til the End of Time by Timothy Bloom

4. Favorite Love Song and why?

Whew lawd …I have a lot of favorites. Right now I’m hooked on this song above by Timothy Bloom called Til the end of time. I’ll share the lyrics and video with you. His song makes me think long and hard about what I want. I wish for longevity, open communication, and trust. It’s a beautiful song. The video is so free and makes a clear statement about black love. Again like I said I have many favorites but this one gets extra spins on my mp3 player.

Timothy Bloom featuring V. "Til the end of time"
Oh, if I should die tomorrow

Oh, please let there, let there be life.

And oh, no need for sorrow

Let's just make love until the morning light.

I want you to remember me.

I want you to remember me.

Lead on my legacy until the end of time.

Laaa laaa la la la la

La la la

Laaa laaa la la la la

La la la

Laaa laaa la la la

Until the time

Boy, put it inside of me,

Go head and plant your seed,

Until the end of time?
And aahhh, if you should die tomorrow,

you will you live on inside of me

I want you to remember me.

I want you to remember me.

I'll lead on your legacy baby,

Until the end of time.

Laaa laaa la la la la

La la la

Laaa laaa la la la la

La la la

Laaa laaa la la la

Until the time

Oh, baby I don't know

What tomorrow holds.

aahhh cause I know you wont leave this world alone

Let's make it official

We can make this house a home,

For ever and ever

Until the end of time.

Oh, baby


Until the time

Day 3 - L&T Challenge - All I Ever Think About Is You

3~ Last/Most Recent Love...what they meant/mean to you...

*smirking* my current love is a sweet one. We once dated many years ago and kinda went different directions. I was a mother of two he had no kids, he loved to travel and go out partying and i couldn't. I'm not sure what drove us apart but when we reconnected it was like nothing had changed between us. Except for his marriage and my round of bad men. (hangs head)

His mother loves me as well as his sister. He waited my 90 day courting period even tho we had a history, to prove he was after my heart and not my Budda. He makes me feel wanted, sexy, beautiful. He likes to show me off when we go somewhere together he takes pride in noticing someone else is watching me. He feels lucky, almost like he doesnt deserve me at times. He encorages me to continue to just be me. He reads my work, he gives me praise, he offers motivation.

i guess when you come from a relationship that the person always told you, if you do this or that then you would be the perfect one for me. To someone who accepts you flaws and all, loves when you pout, adores your raggedy hair scarf and that you have GI issues you can't control.His touch, his kiss, that million dolla smile he flashes gets me everytime. I can be mad as ever and that smile will cause temporary amnesia. We have had our first test recently and hopefully we will get past it.

i remember the day he told me he loved me. We went to see Kem on March 17th and the show was very moving...the words of those songs reminded us, of us. No we weren't in the bed making love...we were having a conversation. "I never stopped loving you" will forever stay embedded in my head. Cause even if we didnt reconnect i hope that would have been his answer if we met in heaven. I dont think God makes mistakes...we as humans do. I'm hoping that this time is the right time. I'm not gonna lie i have a high hope for my love life and i'm praying for success this go round.

Day 2 - Love & Truth Challenge - You Da Best?!

2~ Best Love...what they meant/mean to you...
I can't really say that i have encountered my best love, my life is nowhere near coming to an end and no one has put a ring on it. I dont really have much to say on this one. I just hope my best love is right under my nose....or plotting to make a liar outta me.


Day 1 Love & Truth Blog Challenge - Mi Primer Amor

1. First Love (of course!)...what they meant/mean to you...

My first love was a good one….his name was Thomas, he was older than me son of a respected police officer and prominent family. They liked me pretty much and our families lived right across the street from each other.
He was so handsome and smart and a sports nut. He never was mean to me and always treated me with respect. We never had sex because of course I was a virgin at the time and he didn’t wanna rush me (I’m sure he was getting it elsewhere). He didn’t force me to do anything.
We had sessions of foreplay and almost went there but at 16 it wasn’t gonna happen. Thank goodness he left for the Navy when he did; I’m sure I would have been his wife or baby mama if he stayed around. He made a great kisser out of me and assisted in me knowing that a man will wait for the goodies.
I saw him recently after he was discharged from the Gulf War and he was pretty jacked up mentally. Not the man I remembered. We had a conversation and I had the chance to tell him thank you for being a good boyfriend, to a shy girl who didn’t know nothing about being in love until he came around… he broke in the tom girl.


30 Day Love and Truth Challenge

Finally the 30 Day Love Challenge

1~ First Love (of course!)...what they meant/mean to you...
2~ Best Love...what they meant/mean to you...
3~ Last/Most Recent Love...what they meant/mean to you...
4~ Favorite Love song...and why?
5~ Favorite Romantic Movie
6~ What is your idea of true love?
7~ Have you ever been deeply in love? Explain
8~ Do you think you can be in love with two people at the same time?
9~ Tell us about the first time you ever made love (not had sex)
10~ List 10 people you love and explain what they mean to you
11~ Whom (no names, if you prefer) did you love, who didn't love you back?
12~ Do you believe in zodiac compatibility? Who is your best match from experience? You worst?
13~ Do you believe in unconditional love?
14~ Recreate your most romantic date (a real one)...
15~ Can you live without a love relationship?
16~ Do you believe in love at first sight?
17~ Do you think young people can fall in love and it be true?
18~ Have you ever been in a love triangle...with you as the object of desire?
19~ What do you love to do the most?
20~ Do you believe in Long Distance/Internet Love? Why or Why not?
21~ What is the most romantic location you would want to visit?
22~ Create the perfect love scene
23~ Do you think love and marriage are synonymous?
24~ Have you broken anyone's heart?
25~ Looking back on your life...who taught you the most about what love is/isn't?
26~ If your young daughter or son came to you and told you they were in love with someone your age...what would your response be?
27~ Does anyone you've broken up with still love and pursue you?
28~ If you had a choice between a love relationship and just sex [guaranteed]...which would you choose?
29~ Write a Love letter to your soul mate (whether you feel you've met them or not)
30~ Did this love challenge teach you anything? If so/not...what/why?


Day 30- Erotic Truth Challenge - Finish him off w/my Nasty Grind

30. write an erotic poem of your choice.. raunchy or classy.. bring it!!!
*i will be adding one from the archives...its one of my faves*

A dream/Nasty Grind

I dream of you
A spontaneous rendezvous
No phone no computer just me n you
A day to get lost in each other
I’m your favorite dish to eat pork chops smothered
Scented candles, soft music,
Patron, silk sheets and KY don’t ask how we use it
I don’t get my bags down
Before we go at it
Got the white shirtdress on with the stilettos to match it
Bend over it yours you can have it
Pull it up no need to remove it
G-string on just move it
We get down
In a puddle of sweat from our lovemaking
I am trembling my whole body is shakin
Fall asleep with ya manhood still pulsating inside me
I sprung from this ecstasy you’re providing me
Lick the sweat from ya chest as you eyeing me
I trace you with my tongue
To get to the pole
I unselfishly give u what u need
Standing up ill bring u to your knees
Make your toes curl
Make a grown man scream
A weekend of passion
Of impulse action
We hit every room in ya crib
There isn’t a space we haven’t been in
On the table, on the sink, in da pool oooh we!
The work out room ain't off limits
We will get it in if time permits
Kissing me so soft in da sauna room
Ill find out soon
Tracing the beads of sweat on my body with the softest touch
I hope I don’t wake up from this dream it’s just too much
My love is throbbing and it seems like I’m ready
After the back massage the kid gloves are off
Just tell me how u want it
How does it feel?
Is it good to you baby?
As I talk dirty ion ya ear
Smack it up baby
Flip me ova baby
Ill take it any way ya give
I’m a grown ass lady…
Thighs drenched in sweat
From the hot and sweaty mess
Contents of our love
But is it just a dream
U tell me
I don’t know


Day 29 - Sexy Muhfugga

29. What makes you sexy to YOU?
I feel that i carry myself rather well not stupid, educated, not a whore, which is SEXY to me.

I am conscience about the way i walk, talk, and project my opinions and beliefs and i know everyone may not agree but its okay its SEXY to be an individual.

I'm not a bad looking girl i don't think i am the best looking thang out here but i know i am beautiful, curvaceous, bootilicious and fabulous. But knowing i could be/do better is SEXY.

From my eyes to my lips to the dip in my back and those baby making hips i am a freaking goddess...SEXY  is not whats outside its what inside your head your heart and what Aura you give off to the people around you. 

Day 28 - Erotic Truth Challenge - Gimme Dat

28. If you could get your hands on some dick/pussy right now, how would you want it?

I want it hard and long strokes and slow grinding…
I want him to put me to sleep and wake me up and do it all over again
I want it from the back, wheelbarrow style, and put me in a pretzel or indian style just to get to that spot…
I don’t want any candles, no sweet talking I want him to make me call him daddy…
I wanna stop writing this so I can call now to get my hands, lips, and vajayjay wrapped around that magic stick… 


Day 27 Erotic Truth Challenge - No Hokey Pokey in My Bed

27. Your man/woman likes to have sex with the same sex. Are you willing to invite this into your bedroom? Why?

This is where the double standard comes in for me…I would say no cause I don’t like the idea of my man having anal sex with another man. Watching another man give my man oral pleasure might not turn me on. On the other hand, I’m sure he would allow another woman in our bedroom because that’s the fantasy of many men.

I wouldn’t invite it in my bedroom and I wouldn’t do anything that I won’t let him do. It’s always possible that our mate is upfront with us about what they like and don’t like so if he brought that to my attention from the gate we wouldn’t have a bedroom to speak about…I love my bi-sexual friends and I hope they enter a relationship truthfully with no boundaries on the truth. I know many who live a double life and nobody is aware.  

Day 26 - Erotic Truth challenge - Exit Only

26. Anal sex? are you anal about it?
this will be short and sweet I tried it once it was painful and i wont be trying it again...no lubrication, anal relaxation method will prompt me to like it...i heard it was instant climax but that aint my shit literally. 

Day 25 - B.O.B (Battery Operated Boyfriend)

25. What motivates you to hit your orgasmic peak during a masturbation session?
This lovely item above used to be one of the best boyfriends i had...reliable on time and charged up at all times. If i couldn't get the real thing BOB steps in and make it alright. He doesn't stop till i get enough and after that i want more he doesn't role over and snore. He is moderately priced at a cool $90 on www.pureromance.com and its a guaranteed motivational tool and will hit that spot every time. Just hand stimulation doesn't do it for me i desire penetration and clitoral stimulation simultaneously.


24. What is your definition of freaky?

Freaky is what you make it..
freaky is being spontaneous, being open to many things with your partner...not many partners. when don't have any restraint with your partner...sexy fuck faces and role playing. What man don't want his woman to give him a sexy strip tease...or try a new position. A nice hand job on the way home from a nice dinner. I recall a DJ booth experience i will never forget...i think that's the freakiest shit i ever did in public (no one was up there but me and him but that club was packed) Some roadside service on that long trip back home. You cannot limit freaky to the bedroom. The stories my kitchen and other various parts of my house can tell ya lol. Freaky is being nasty at the right place time and with the right person at least it is for me.

Day 23 - Imma Slave for you...

23. Dom/Sub… sexy or just an excuse for men or women to abuse?
hmmm idk cause i feel people can only do what you let them do..so if they whoop ya ass during sex or role play you asked for the shit. I don't care for it and i don't know where the fascination of pain before during or after intercourse is sexy. Choking people out walking round with chains on your neck like a damn dog or chaining someone up to whip them isn't the biz. uhhhhh i talk shit in the bedroom all the time but i ain't gonna belittle a dude to get my rocks off. 


Day 22- Erotic Truth Challenge - 'Scuse me,Can i borrow your husband?

22. Swinging… your thoughts…

*that's share bear right up there*

I'm not good with sharing as you read in the Orgy blog i don't get down with the swapping fluids with nobody. I am a one lover woman...i don't need no extra bodies and i wont be sharing my sweet meat with nobody. Stingy as hell yes i am.


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