I must be a fool...or it's just you

"Telephone line

I sit by and wait for your call
here all alone
wondering who you're talking to 

Maybe I'm a fool in love

Maybe I'm a fool in love
Maybe I should just give up
I'm just a fool in love
Must be a fool in love."

Feeling like a plum dumb fool right now...not a new feeling but a uneasy feeling. Sometimes giving your best ain't good enough. Its like some are so use to the world being  against them they don't know how to handle it when someone has their best interest at heart. You want them to succeed and have something to be proud of. Give them the opportunity to hold their head high even if its not the best circumstances. We all need the support love and even the honesty from the ones they love. Its called unconditional love.When you are programmed in your head that "i'm right and everyone else is wrong" you clearly have life messed up. Obviously your ducks are not completely in a row if shit still is not going in a positive direction. I'm not into kicking people when they are down..never have never will cause i know what that feels like. I'll give a person my last so they won't go hungry angry or be embarrassed but will they go the extra mile for me? Not that i ask for reciprocation for everything i do, but you really do get tired of the lack of support and the extra bullshit that you don't really gotta go through to show a person that you care. Its indeed getting old....real old.


Love and Truth Challenge revisited (sort of)

So i was revisiting a challenge I participated in and i really wish i had an opportunity to revisit this one but that was a tough one to go through. I really truly wish that there were more good than bad things to mention when it comes to matters of the heart. I have learned by re-reading them i am making some same mistakes in my current relationship. Difference is we have a tighter bond than my prior relationships. 

Hindsight... baby is a motherfucker. I got people calling me and telling me I haven't left their mind and they couldn't really move on after doing me wrong. Some just bluntly throw the new chick up in my face like i care. I actually pray for a better outcome for them. I have been bitten by the love bug and spit out like old gum way too many times. I have the experience to know that if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck...the muthafucka is a duck. You cannot rewrite a bad novel and resale it to me....with a new cover. 

I really do have mad love for my man right now. I want him to be successful. I want him to feel like he deserves me. Yes DESERVES me. I will no longer belittle my worth for any type of love. I want to be his wife one day but i want all demons and all that out his system. I will not go into another year feeling the way i did mid way through this year. Yeah i know it has its ups and downs but like I've said in many blogs I'm not into roller-coasters and i will get off when I'm ready. No man on this Earth will have the chance to say i got my way with her and didn't have to work for it.

I'm starting to worry more as i grow older but i shouldn't. What will be will be. I worry bout bills, kids and health. I crave stability. I'm talking bout that $200million dollar security. It's coming... maybe not the money but i will have my stability. Come hell or high water baby i claim it. I'm not going to suffer, be bitter, or go into some anti-man shell fuck that.

Love and the Truth will set you free....

Those who still stop by my blog and drop a line or two thank you those who breeze by thank you too nosey butt. Goodnight y'all.


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