Revelations ~ The Truth

I was going to the Bible on this one but changed my mind. Time will reveal everything that's done in the dark. These people with hidden agendas and motives will all have their day. The truth shall set you free and a lie will hold you hostage cause you have to keep lying to cover up the initial lie. That's bout all the knowledge I'll drop on this.


Questions ~ A Poem

A thousand questions running through my head
My expression shows my confusion
My wrinkled brow shows my stress
I tend to obsess
I tend to question myself
The old
The questions are not getting answers
I don’t even know why
I try to rationalize
I just take it day by day
Cause some questions have unspeakable answers
It’s not by sight not by mouth
Answers that you really don’t have patience to wait for
You assume and you move on
While the world keep turning
The question I have
May never be answered the way I like
But the truth
Hurts much less than a lie.



Singing "I am every day people"
I am sorry to say that i'm getting fed up with people..big people little people short people tall people smart people dumb people evil people angelic people....just people period are not on my to do list.
I think i have reached a plateau in life that i really really don't have time for the bs. This week taught me a lesson. I was right about of not making anyone in my office relevant. These damn sensitive ass people threw dirt on my name and even though i know my boss has better judgement about me, i know I'm on their radar right now. Not good but i got this trust me. I have been fortunate to be employed by one of the best hospital in the country and i plan on retiring from it.

I have worked with People since the first job i have ever help. I was a counselor at the Boys & Girls club at 16...i really enjoyed it. McDonald's at 17 (hella old people at that location with Buckeye Cards) I worked for the Cleveland Indians/Cleveland Cavaliers from age 17-25 (food service & vending comm manager) and I have been at UH Hospital for 9 years (patient care/secretary) See i have been working with people for a long time.

My world is not in any type of turmoil I'm just trying to get by like the rest of the world. My attitude has been nonchalant lately. I guess I'm just fed up with alot of stuff and people are just getting the wrath of my woes. Stay out my way and you will be just fine.


Optimism - Optimistic

*sigh* Its hard right nite being optimistic about somethings going on but negativity never got anyone anywhere. My kids are my motivators they make me realize I can do anything. All they know is mom is their superhero. That cape gets worn and I have to make little repairs on it, secretly replace it without them knowing. I have hopes of a bright future for my family.that song Be Optimistic by  Sounds of Blackness keeps running through my head. I'll post it when I find it. That's all I got.


Nucleus - Center of Everything

In my home I am the center of everything...the head of household..the matriarch. But God its the Nucleus of my life. He makes the works go round and no one would be here without him. His is the head of my life..he always is there for me when I need him. When he took my grandmother home I couldn't do nothing but thank him for allowing me 31 years to have her. Today she was heavy on my mind...don't know why but I'm sure there was a reason. I have not been to church in a while and I feel pretty bad about it. Watching online is not always good. I'm babbling but y'all get it. I need to make Christ the nucleus if my life..maybe things will start going right.


Music ~ I Love Music

Music has been good to me in one way of the other ... made me laugh made me cry made me feel good. Music is cleansing. Can remind you of a moment in time or a stupid mofo that broke your heart.
I'm gonna drop 4 music vids that attribute in some way or another.





Limitations ~ No Limits

"Said i'm loving you, loving you everyday don't you look no more Love without a limit" MJB

I have for some reason thought i had a limit of what i can take...but i also notice i have expanded my thinking lately. Maybe cause i'm getting older and i'm in what the hell mode. You only live once. You hurt a thousand times, you love a hundred times and you suffer/struggle at some point in your life. The only limits that are there are those you impose on yourself. 

I can say a million time "i'm not going through that shit again" and low and behold i'm back down memory lane. Never used to be big in my vocabulary until "never" walked up on me and swept me off my feet a few times in my adulthood. I wish never would keep his/her ass out of my damn way sometimes. 

I've cautioned myself to try not to put such a barrier around myself when its comes to motherhood, love, family and career decisions. To much has been passed up cause i had that "i don't do this or that" frame of mind i have had for a long time. Sky is the limit and i'm gonna ride this mutha till the wheels fall off.


Kindred ~ Related

I'm not family oriented as normal people. I grew up with both parents til the age of 10. Then our life is pretty much a blur. I don't remember most of my childhood. I recall meeting my cousins on my mother side when we first got back here. We kicked it with them every weekend since we were all in the same age range. Then as we grew older we moved apart. It was too easy to just move on me my sister and brother didn't have structure around the house cause mom worked 16 hours a day. We needed.that but it just couldn't happen. I think family should eat together.

Kindred spirits are like family you just mesh together...without being blood related. I have alot of people who I call family cause they treat me and are there for me like family and vice versa. I'm just babbling here but y'all know what I'm getting at.
Kindred souls, kindred spirits, kin-dred.


Jubilant - Praise


*looks up look down looks up looks down*

i have a hard time believing that Miss Nikki has a giant butt and that there is definitely something added to give her the ridiculous ILLUSION of a big dumb donkey booty. I have a nice size butt even tho some days i wish i had a smaller one. She rocks it well it doesn't look stank or anything...its always the clothes that make people look a mess. She spent a pretty penny adding and subtracting from what i can say was a pretty girl already to become this "black barbie" and I'm not proud of her but hey if it helps her get where she wants to be more power to her.

I also wanna speak of the illusion of love...we sometimes mistake lust for love and we pay big in the end. I've chosen to keep my goods to myself for someone who genuinely loves me. How will I know? I couldn't tell you some of the time we just have to jump in a hope we come out on top. But i will never be hoodwinked into believing anything that i have to keep doubting. when in doubt go with your first mind.

I used the picture of Nikki Minaj cause people doubted her "bootyliciousness:" so much she had to pose damn near nude for people to believe her. she not a magician honey...that girl got ass for days.

Here goes prolly the only song i can stomach from her


Hate - Envy Me

I don't particularly care for the word Hate. I don't think people should hate anything about another individual. What is for you,is for you, what is not is just not. No need to hate. No one forces you to do anything you don't want to do.

i despise:
gossipers without facts
the look of underwear under leggings (u should match the color)
dead beat parents
whores men & women
lazy people
women/men beaters
soggy bread
thieves and liars
Just a few things that get under my skin. I don't hate those people places or things. I dislike them being placed in my way.

Generosity - Many Thanks

Its so hard to not be generous...i think its just part of some folks genetic makeup. We give and give and empathize with our fellow man. We don't ignore the bum on the street who authentically may need a few bucks even if he is just going to soak his sins in Mad Dog 20/20.

I think the reason i am so generous with some things in my life is because i feel that if i do good things for other people that will make my God a pleased God. If its money, my time, my ear, a hug a quick smile to an elder....its free and I give it with no intention of getting it back. Its not that i think i'm gonna get rewarded for it..i just like to do unto to people as they do for me.

I am thankful for any one that has entended any type of generosity to me. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.


Favorite - People place or thing

One of my favorite things are those delicious sweet tarts above....they are soooo good i sometimes get my tongue all messed up cause I'm eating these things like I'm crazy.
 my next favorite things are shoes i am a shoe freak but I've tried to bring it down a bit
ain't nothing like a good pair of stilettos... i have to admit sometimes i buy shoes before the outfit. Smh i need to stop doing that really...its backwards as hell.

one of my most favorite things are thing one and two....that's what i call my kids (Cat In the Hat Characters in his Movie) dontjudge.com
i love those lil rascals they drive me crazy and work me hard but they are my life and i couldn't ask for better children.


Entity - BuddaLand

Singing *Elmo voice* Lalalala lalalala Budda's World! That's my personal entity....where I am free to be myself, express myself, and say pretty much how I feel without getting reported escorted or kicked out of anywhere. Joy pain celebration or just plain rantings...but its my world. Most people worry about what some body had to say I don't. I alfa have no problem kicking a disrespectful passenger off my private island.
                                                        My not for profit franchise doesn't need a label sponsor or spokesperson I make it clear in all my post that this is me and I'm not going to change...hate it or love it baby.
I am a entity all but myself promoting honesty and allowing my trials and testimony to encourage our inspire someone else who thinks they are alone.


Desire - Of the Heart

This word instantly makes me think of Raheem Devaughn’s song… its real sexy tune. I desire a lot of things. A actual career and a home of my own right now top this list. Everything else is a non fuckin factor at this point. Heartbreak and disappointment will do that to you.

The desires of my heart have caused me a lot of sleepless nights and a couple of boxes Kleenex. I want to be loved but not the way I have been lately. I desire a man who doesn’t have a selfish bone in his body. I know someone is out there for me but I hope I don’t miss him cause I’m tired of the bullshit. Bitter is my name right now, bad taste hasn’t left my mouth yet.

My desire for friendship has met an all-time low. People are so non-transparent to the extent I can’t deal with them. I can’t be bothered with no fake mofo’s. I can count on one hand who I can call a true blue friend. If I was drowning they would save me, even though they can’t swim type of people. It’s a shame though I think I’m a great person to be friends with. Oh friggin well.
I’m avoiding my desire for sex and not seeing a need in sharing my goods with anyone until I find that one. it’s gonna be hard for me I love to be intimate but I don’t enjoy sharing my good loving with folks who don’t deserve it or benefit me. No I’m not saying I’m selling my shit but hey I gotta home to maintain and children to raise. Like my mom would say “never lay down with someone you don’t love and walk away with just a wet ass”. Sounds lewd but it’s a great idea to me.

A few of my desires I have many more but they’re not important at this time. Not to me any damn way.
Enjoy Raheem sexy ass <3


Chances are
I spend too much time worrying
I spend too much time being angry
Chances are
I deserve to be happy
I deserve the best
Chances are
I’m waiting on a miracle not meant to happen
That I want to hang on to the past
Chances are
I should live today like it’s my last
I will benefit from an new slate
Chances are
I keep hearing that old song
Running through my head
“chances are cause I wear a silly grin”
Chances are
I’m fighting for my sanity
Trying to contain
Trying to restrain my anger
Chances are
I worry cause I see no way out
Chances are
God is showing me a path
Who am I to doubt…Chance


Beauty ~ Is Her Name

"Walks by me everyday her and love are the same the woman has stolen my heart and beauty is her name" Beauty by Dru Hill.

Beauty is something every says the have. Pretty eyes, perfect nose, clear skin...yada yada. What i see is beautiful is my kids smiles...those Lil monkeys are my lifeline. If i cant make them smile it makes my day suck. 
When they are warm, full, and safe Its a beautiful thing. 

I also think the most beautiful moments I've had was falling in love the first time and giving birth to my kids. I looked a damn mess but my heart was beating out my chest overwhelmed with love with both of them. My daughter came out and all I could say is she is beautiful before i passed out. 

The sunset is one of my favorite pass times...i love to sit and watch the sunset...it calms me. I don't know why but it does. I used to go to the lake and watch then sunset and write. At my nieces party while everyone was enjoying the cake and ice cream i was sitting on the bench admiring the sunset over the lake it was so beautiful.
Calming and reassuring that the day is over and there is a chance to fix somethings tomorrow.
What a beautiful moment....


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