24~ Have you broken anyone's heart?
Yeah it wasn’t intentional of course. The love just wasn’t there for me anymore. There was a big issue cause we share a child together. Everything was good the entire pregnancy until I gave birth to my daughter. Then came the possessiveness. The lack of trust and the constant phone calls at work…while he was at work, if I was out…drove me nuts.
Good father, a great hustler/worker, and a wonderful lover but just couldn’t make me happy. I needed more I was 25 and still trying to live. I hated for someone not to trust me. If I walked out the house too cute, spoke to a male co-worker while he was on the phone with me, etc. he was all in his feelings. I was a bad mother cause I wanted to kick it… he was only mad cause he was stuck in the house with the child he went hard for. One day while having one of are “discussions” I told him this isn’t what I want and I want to get out in the world and see what else is out here. He looked at me and said “I can’t believe you bitch, I hate your fuggin guts”… I blanked out after the bitch word. I heard nothing thereafter I told him to bounce and if he didn’t like what I had to say fine but he better not neglect his responsibilities regarding our daughter.
I don’t feel I’m wrong it was the truth. I can’t pretend to love someone if I really don’t. I loved him just not in the way he felt for me. I’m not a great pretender so I did him a big favor. Every girlfriend he had thereafter he compared to me…had my phone played on and had help his relationships fell apart according to him cause they just wasn’t me. He had dreams of marrying the woman who bore his child. I was in a different place mentally so it would have been a bust for sure. But what a beautiful gift we share because of our union. He told me one day last month that I was as sexy as I was the day I gave birth to her. Of course I closed the door In his face…we aint traveling that road again IJS.
1 comment:
I admire that you recognized when the relationship was going sour. Some people stay put for too long. Just because one becomes a mother doesn't mean she stops being a woman...a sensual being. If a woman wants to go and have a good time, she's being "loose." But if a guy who's a father does the same thing, it's "winding down." A bit double standarish to me...
Post a Comment