Day 25 - How to Love

25 – Looking back on your life…who taught you the most about what love is/isn't?

That damn Lil Wayne/tunechi song is racing through my head as I type this

 “You had a lot of moments that didn’t last forever, now you in the corner tryna put it together, How to love, how to love” How to Love by Lil Wayne


Giving honor to God first cause his love for us should always be the template of how we share our love with the world. Only thing, we are human and we don’t forgive as easily. Yes I started off with him cause he is so busy in my life right now. God has calmed me down when I let him.

I met this guy named Fresh in December of 2009 on MySpace and he was pursuing me but I was out of a bad situation at the time and didn’t wanna be bothered. He respected that I didn’t wanna get into nothing and kept it friendly. I had a few qualms about him he was younger than me, kind of wet behind the ears, but he was also what I needed at the time. We stayed about 25 min away from each other so we nixed the MySpace convos and spoke by phone. I decided to go head and give him a chance, cause hell I had been through some bull in the past couple years.

We started out beautifully he was attentive, romantic, loving and good around my kids. Fast forward to about a year and a half and we still going strong. He loved to argue with me (Taurus) we disagreed on so many things in life I charged it to his age. He was at least 7yrs younger, but didn’t act like that. He had college under his belt, job, and wasn’t a bum. He would rather be in the house with me than hit a club. I was the opposite cause I didn’t like to be “suffocated”. We moved in together which was a first for me cause I had never lived with any man. He worked, cooked, cleaned, and cared for the kids better than their own dad.  I had to get used to a lot of things but it worked out. I was truly a bitch to this dude sometimes. We went through some real live shit. He didn’t budge he was there with me when he could have jumped up and dipped. He taught me that love and just for the good times. It’s all the time. He in his 25+ years of life had brought me such happiness and appreciation. We broke up several times between the 2+ years that we were together but this last one was for the best. He taught me about sacrificing for love and success…I appreciate that.

Isn’t love…imma give that to a dude who at the beginning of this challenge I said he would make the lineup. His name was Paul. I thought Paul was corny, funny looking, and corny. I gave him a chance because we were introduced by mutual friends. We had a okay start  and everything was all good. Sex was mediocre and conversation was limited cause we both worked long hours. We hung out together a lot. We had a lot of people who were amazed by how “cute” we were out in public. Things started getting weird when his ex started showing up and out even though I was told she was into women and not him. I ignored it then things were not adding up. This was a situation of everyone knows but me. He was sneaky, he was going behind my back seeing her. Instead of him saying look I’m going to try again with her it’s been real, this dude disrespected my feelings and followed his heart. Instead of being a man and keeping it 100 he broke my lil heart. I took it personal and I till this day still hold him responsible for attitude when it comes to stepping out my comfort zone when dating. When I see him now I feel like he did me a favor. A big one. Thanks asshole. LOL