People

Singing "I am every day people"
I am sorry to say that i'm getting fed up with people..big people little people short people tall people smart people dumb people evil people angelic people....just people period are not on my to do list.
I think i have reached a plateau in life that i really really don't have time for the bs. This week taught me a lesson. I was right about of not making anyone in my office relevant. These damn sensitive ass people threw dirt on my name and even though i know my boss has better judgement about me, i know I'm on their radar right now. Not good but i got this trust me. I have been fortunate to be employed by one of the best hospital in the country and i plan on retiring from it.

I have worked with People since the first job i have ever help. I was a counselor at the Boys & Girls club at 16...i really enjoyed it. McDonald's at 17 (hella old people at that location with Buckeye Cards) I worked for the Cleveland Indians/Cleveland Cavaliers from age 17-25 (food service & vending comm manager) and I have been at UH Hospital for 9 years (patient care/secretary) See i have been working with people for a long time.

My world is not in any type of turmoil I'm just trying to get by like the rest of the world. My attitude has been nonchalant lately. I guess I'm just fed up with alot of stuff and people are just getting the wrath of my woes. Stay out my way and you will be just fine.

Optimism - Optimistic

*sigh* Its hard right nite being optimistic about somethings going on but negativity never got anyone anywhere. My kids are my motivators they make me realize I can do anything. All they know is mom is their superhero. That cape gets worn and I have to make little repairs on it, secretly replace it without them knowing. I have hopes of a bright future for my family.that song Be Optimistic by  Sounds of Blackness keeps running through my head. I'll post it when I find it. That's all I got.

Nucleus - Center of Everything

In my home I am the center of everything...the head of household..the matriarch. But God its the Nucleus of my life. He makes the works go round and no one would be here without him. His is the head of my life..he always is there for me when I need him. When he took my grandmother home I couldn't do nothing but thank him for allowing me 31 years to have her. Today she was heavy on my mind...don't know why but I'm sure there was a reason. I have not been to church in a while and I feel pretty bad about it. Watching online is not always good. I'm babbling but y'all get it. I need to make Christ the nucleus if my life..maybe things will start going right.

Music ~ I Love Music

ICrushALot.com

Music has been good to me in one way of the other ... made me laugh made me cry made me feel good. Music is cleansing. Can remind you of a moment in time or a stupid mofo that broke your heart.

I'm gonna drop 4 music vids that attribute in some way or another.

SPIRITUAL

LOVE

MOTHER-HOOD

SECURITY/CONFIDENCE

Limitations ~ No Limits

"Said i'm loving you, loving you everyday don't you look no more Love without a limit" MJB

I have for some reason thought i had a limit of what i can take...but i also notice i have expanded my thinking lately. Maybe cause i'm getting older and i'm in what the hell mode. You only live once. You hurt a thousand times, you love a hundred times and you suffer/struggle at some point in your life. The only limits that are there are those you impose on yourself. 

I can say a million time "i'm not going through that shit again" and low and behold i'm back down memory lane. Never used to be big in my vocabulary until "never" walked up on me and swept me off my feet a few times in my adulthood. I wish never would keep his/her ass out of my damn way sometimes. 

I've cautioned myself to try not to put such a barrier around myself when its comes to motherhood, love, family and career decisions. To much has been passed up cause i had that "i don't do this or that" frame of mind i have had for a long time. Sky is the limit and i'm gonna ride this mutha till the wheels fall off.

Kindred ~ Related

I'm not family oriented as normal people. I grew up with both parents til the age of 10. Then our life is pretty much a blur. I don't remember most of my childhood. I recall meeting my cousins on my mother side when we first got back here. We kicked it with them every weekend since we were all in the same age range. Then as we grew older we moved apart. It was too easy to just move on me my sister and brother didn't have structure around the house cause mom worked 16 hours a day. We needed.that but it just couldn't happen. I think family should eat together.

Kindred spirits are like family you just mesh together...without being blood related. I have alot of people who I call family cause they treat me and are there for me like family and vice versa. I'm just babbling here but y'all know what I'm getting at.
Kindred souls, kindred spirits, kin-dred.

Jubilant - Praise

Illusion

*looks up look down looks up looks down*

i have a hard time believing that Miss Nikki has a giant butt and that there is definitely something added to give her the ridiculous ILLUSION of a big dumb donkey booty. I have a nice size butt even tho some days i wish i had a smaller one. She rocks it well it doesn't look stank or anything...its always the clothes that make people look a mess. She spent a pretty penny adding and subtracting from what i can say was a pretty girl already to become this "black barbie" and I'm not proud of her but hey if it helps her get where she wants to be more power to her.

I also wanna speak of the illusion of love...we sometimes mistake lust for love and we pay big in the end. I've chosen to keep my goods to myself for someone who genuinely loves me. How will I know? I couldn't tell you some of the time we just have to jump in a hope we come out on top. But i will never be hoodwinked into believing anything that i have to keep doubting. when in doubt go with your first mind.

I used the picture of Nikki Minaj cause people doubted her "bootyliciousness:" so much she had to pose damn near nude for people to believe her. she not a magician honey...that girl got ass for days.

Here goes prolly the only song i can stomach from her

Hate - Envy Me

I don't particularly care for the word Hate. I don't think people should hate anything about another individual. What is for you,is for you, what is not is just not. No need to hate. No one forces you to do anything you don't want to do.


i despise:
bitchassness
gossipers without facts
the look of underwear under leggings (u should match the color)
chitterlings
drama
dead beat parents
whores men & women
lazy people
women/men beaters
soggy bread
slobs
thieves and liars
Just a few things that get under my skin. I don't hate those people places or things. I dislike them being placed in my way.

Generosity - Many Thanks

Its so hard to not be generous...i think its just part of some folks genetic makeup. We give and give and empathize with our fellow man. We don't ignore the bum on the street who authentically may need a few bucks even if he is just going to soak his sins in Mad Dog 20/20.


I think the reason i am so generous with some things in my life is because i feel that if i do good things for other people that will make my God a pleased God. If its money, my time, my ear, a hug a quick smile to an elder....its free and I give it with no intention of getting it back. Its not that i think i'm gonna get rewarded for it..i just like to do unto to people as they do for me.

I am thankful for any one that has entended any type of generosity to me. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Favorite - People place or thing

One of my favorite things are those delicious sweet tarts above....they are soooo good i sometimes get my tongue all messed up cause I'm eating these things like I'm crazy.
 my next favorite things are shoes i am a shoe freak but I've tried to bring it down a bit

ain't nothing like a good pair of stilettos... i have to admit sometimes i buy shoes before the outfit. Smh i need to stop doing that really...its backwards as hell.

one of my most favorite things are thing one and two....that's what i call my kids (Cat In the Hat Characters in his Movie) dontjudge.com
i love those lil rascals they drive me crazy and work me hard but they are my life and i couldn't ask for better children.

Entity - BuddaLand

Singing *Elmo voice* Lalalala lalalala Budda's World! That's my personal entity....where I am free to be myself, express myself, and say pretty much how I feel without getting reported escorted or kicked out of anywhere. Joy pain celebration or just plain rantings...but its my world. Most people worry about what some body had to say I don't. I alfa have no problem kicking a disrespectful passenger off my private island.
                                                        My not for profit franchise doesn't need a label sponsor or spokesperson I make it clear in all my post that this is me and I'm not going to change...hate it or love it baby.
I am a entity all but myself promoting honesty and allowing my trials and testimony to encourage our inspire someone else who thinks they are alone.

Desire - Of the Heart

Desire.

This word instantly makes me think of Raheem Devaughn’s song… its real sexy tune. I desire a lot of things. A actual career and a home of my own right now top this list. Everything else is a non fuckin factor at this point. Heartbreak and disappointment will do that to you.

The desires of my heart have caused me a lot of sleepless nights and a couple of boxes Kleenex. I want to be loved but not the way I have been lately. I desire a man who doesn’t have a selfish bone in his body. I know someone is out there for me but I hope I don’t miss him cause I’m tired of the bullshit. Bitter is my name right now, bad taste hasn’t left my mouth yet.

My desire for friendship has met an all-time low. People are so non-transparent to the extent I can’t deal with them. I can’t be bothered with no fake mofo’s. I can count on one hand who I can call a true blue friend. If I was drowning they would save me, even though they can’t swim type of people. It’s a shame though I think I’m a great person to be friends with. Oh friggin well.

I’m avoiding my desire for sex and not seeing a need in sharing my goods with anyone until I find that one. it’s gonna be hard for me I love to be intimate but I don’t enjoy sharing my good loving with folks who don’t deserve it or benefit me. No I’m not saying I’m selling my shit but hey I gotta home to maintain and children to raise. Like my mom would say “never lay down with someone you don’t love and walk away with just a wet ass”. Sounds lewd but it’s a great idea to me.

A few of my desires I have many more but they’re not important at this time. Not to me any damn way.

Enjoy Raheem sexy ass <3

Chance

Chances are

I spend too much time worrying

I spend too much time being angry

Chances are

I deserve to be happy

I deserve the best

Chances are

I’m waiting on a miracle not meant to happen

That I want to hang on to the past

Chances are

I should live today like it’s my last

I will benefit from an new slate

Chances are

I keep hearing that old song

Running through my head

“chances are cause I wear a silly grin”

Chances are

I’m fighting for my sanity

Trying to contain

Trying to restrain my anger

Chances are

I worry cause I see no way out

Chances are

God is showing me a path

Who am I to doubt…Chance

Lykebudda©2011

Beauty ~ Is Her Name

"Walks by me everyday her and love are the same the woman has stolen my heart and beauty is her name" Beauty by Dru Hill.

Beauty is something every says the have. Pretty eyes, perfect nose, clear skin...yada yada. What i see is beautiful is my kids smiles...those Lil monkeys are my lifeline. If i cant make them smile it makes my day suck. 
When they are warm, full, and safe Its a beautiful thing. 


I also think the most beautiful moments I've had was falling in love the first time and giving birth to my kids. I looked a damn mess but my heart was beating out my chest overwhelmed with love with both of them. My daughter came out and all I could say is she is beautiful before i passed out. 


The sunset is one of my favorite pass times...i love to sit and watch the sunset...it calms me. I don't know why but it does. I used to go to the lake and watch then sunset and write. At my nieces party while everyone was enjoying the cake and ice cream i was sitting on the bench admiring the sunset over the lake it was so beautiful.

Calming and reassuring that the day is over and there is a chance to fix somethings tomorrow.

What a beautiful moment....

Ambition - Evolve

I'm feeling this quote above. I am happy with whats going on right now. I know that I have so many options that I an start motivating myself to pursue but fear is holding me back. Fear of not being able to feed my kids if i have to cut my hours due to school. I really need to get my nursing degree. I cant stay stuck in the same job forever. I was speaking to some friends of mine about this and really got teary eyed about it. 


One thing people know about me is I am not afraid to work. I have been on someones pay roll every since i was 15 years old. I have always managed to stay employed and if it didn't work out for me i quickly resigned and left that place. I always joke and say if i hit the number i still would work cause i would feel useless sitting around...no bullshit. I would have to be an active millionaire assisting hands on maintaining my company. 


Another venture i would like to pursue is getting my poetry book published. Its a dream of mine and I have put that on the back burner also. I'm not the best poet but i am a honest poet. Thats how i define my craft. I speak from my heart and without worry of someone not appreciating it. I have talked to a few people but i think i'm going to self publish it and let whoever buy it if they want to. Yeah that's less stressful.


I have several ambitions its just a matter of me applying myself and doing what i can....

The right Words...

I started typing this yesterday but stopped. I was talking with some sistars of mine about always having the words to say for someone else but never for myself. I take full responsibility for any and everything I haven’t achieved. Due to whatever circumstance. I feel like my focus has often been distracted by things  I shouldn’t let interfere with my progression. I’ve let love excuses and bad influences drain my common sense. I’ve always got a good word for someone but when it comes to me. I don’t know what to do.  I don’t really have a plan right now. I know what I need to do but now how I’m going to manage a lot of things. As I stated on FB my boss reminded me no one is standing in my way of greatness but excuses… I took it to heart.

It’s been many time where I wanted to call the fathers of my kids and tell them to come get their kids for a little while so I can get some things in order. But I’d be too scared those clowns wouldn’t do everything I do for my kids. Sad that I feel that way. I even dropped that bomb on my daughters dad, I asked him if God forbid something happened that I couldn’t be around for her could he manage. He say yeah I asked him what was her blood type and where is her birthmark, and what is her pediatrician name…dude went blank. I went off. All parents whether custodial or not should know or have access to everything involving their kid. The other one…smh I wouldn’t trust him to take care of my son’s issues right now, I have enough trouble. Those are things that trouble me and make me think of how irresponsible I was to be birthing these children with these fellas. But hey they here I love them and there is nothing that will change that. Nothing.

Matters of the heart….well I really been trying to put that one behind me. It’s hard cause there are things you share, remember, crave and desire. Doesn’t stop cause the contact between the two has come to an end. I am very hard on myself lately. Am I not pretty enough? Am I not ambitious enough? Am I worth the fight? Am I ready to start over? Things I wanna just put in a box and bring them out when my mental is better. I don’t want to continue to try and figure where I may have went wrong with any of my past relationships. I am a prize…and I didn’t lose a damn thing. They lost me. I am totally convinced that I didn’t my best and that really all I could do. I still get lonely. I still want things my way. I also need to let my heart rest. The rollercoaster needs repair…I stuck a wrench in that mofo.

i just don't know what to do with myself lately...i hate second guessing myself. ill get it together soon. I'll be feeling some kind of way for a while. Those who know and love me will understand what i'm saying...those who don't I ain't fo you understand. 

DAY 30 - MUSICAL CHALLENGE FINALE- I'M JUST PLAIN OLD ANGIE

30.  Compose your own song.  Describe the type of beat…or what song it would be similar to.  What would be the lyrics (of if its’ going to be an instrumental explain why).  What would be the title?  Also share what, if anything, you learned through this challenge.

Monica...sweetie this finale gonna be short and sweet cause its a bad time for me and i cant seem to think. Deep Inside by MJB reps me to the fullest...me and Mary are >>>>>here<<<<< on this song. I'm just me nothing more nothing less. This challenge did allow me to put music to alot of scenarios in my life. I'm sure when any of them come up i will be thinking bout the song i chose to post. Thanks for the challenge and i look forward to more ahead in the future. thanks all especially Reggie for keeping up with me.

Day 29 - Dedicated by R. Kelly

Day 29.  Dedicational song to the person/people who always had your back?

My mother has been there from the start...not the Claire Huxtable mom but she did and is doing her best and that's why she is my favorite girl.

LIKE MOTHER LIKE DAUGHTER

Day - 28 - Find your way back by Kem

Day 28.  Someone who hurt you in the past comes back for a second chance.  Depending on your response, what’s the song?

Ha...this song became true to life to me in March...thats all i'm gonna say Kem knows just what to say for me...

Day 27 - Freakum Dress by Beyonce

Day 27.  You’re getting cabin fever from being in the house and just want to get out for the night.  What’s your joint?

Somebody needs a reality check on how cold a chick really is...Watch me get in the wind with my freakum dress on.

Day 26 - Candlelight and You

Day 26.  You’re feeling your sexy; name that tune.

Nothing like a sexy duet to make you feel sexy...bubblebath and soft music alone or with a boo...

Day 25 - Just kickin it by Xscape

Day 25.  You are about to indulge in your favorite food or drink to wind down.

Just kicking it...Moscato, Ciroc, or whatever with some good ol wings or seafood to soak up the liquor

Challenge Intermission - Do better Ladies!

Now im going to need you to take this which ever you want to ladies. We need to do better including myself. Me and my girl was having a convo about a few things yesterday. How the people around and close to us are bickering over silly shit. We need to be more proud of how we represent ourselves. We need to be more respectful enough to tell a man to kick rock when he aint speaking our language. We need to heed the words we speak. Stop speaking of how much of a boss bitch you are and show it in action. Stop kicking it and spending unnecessary money when your home aint taking care of. You dont have to be seen all the time unless thats your profession, how you make money. I rather be home with my kids spending time with them nowadays cause they will be grown and gone one day and i wont have em. I dont have interest in being the topic of negative conversation cause their aint nothing anyone can say about me that i wont say about myself. Some of these dudes making a damn fool of y'all and you know it but will still mean mug the next or prospective female for what the dude doing. Men feed off that...i dont blame em. People can only do what you allow period. I grew up having a short list of friends and it has followed me into adulthood. I chose who i want to be bother with. I dont pick my friends according to status, looks, or sexual preference. If you have any issue about who I kick it with thats sounds like a personal problem. susie dont like Joan and joan dont like Peggy so neither should you type of shit. No ma'am thats YALL issue (we clear) dont wanna kick it cause they around...*shrugs* so be it. We need to support each other. I've been going through a few personal things but i will never stop smiling. Never stop being me. Never stop being honest with y'all. I hate to see my ladies being ugly towards each other...we got enough plotting against us. You can never be called weak for being the bigger person. If you been beefing with someone call em up and squash that little shit. It aint worth missing out on your best friend/sistar girl/buddy or anything else. Cuss words and all on a Sunday im sharing my thoughts. God know i'm right. 

~Angie

*for those smacking your lips and saying what Budda on today...im typing this directly to you boo-boo* :)

Day 24 - So Beautiful MJB

Day 24.  You are on a dream vacation.

So Beauitful...by MJB

(From How Stella Got Her Groove Back)

Jamaica or Caribbean meet a beautiful chocolate man of my dreams and let it flow..

Day 23 - Peace of Mind

Day 23.  You were in a deep state of anxiety, fear, and depression but you are slowly but surely coming out of it.  What song marks your revival?

Its all coming back to me now....I gotta find my peace of mind by Lauryn Hill.

Day 22 - What about your friends?

Day 22.  The very people you thought would hold you down at your worst have abandoned you.

FRIENDS ARE FEW FAR AND IN BETWEEN....WATCH WHO YOU CALL A FRIEND! REAL ONE WILL TRY THEIR HARDEST NOT TO DISAPPOINT YOU.

Day 21 - Say Goodbye

Day 21.  Your worst breakup ever~what wound be the main song on the soundtrack?

Never a right time to say goodbye but know we gotta go our separate ways...Chris Brown

Day 20 - Get on My Level

Day 20.  Someone is talking shit about you on the Internet (face book, my space, twitter, etc.)

"you can never eva eva eva eva eva eva get on my level" That kinda all the energy i put up for internet gangstas. I'm so much more polished and don't even entertain little shit like that. It tends to escalate i bum ass bish cause....i dont support bullshit.

Day 19 - Whoop Dat Kid!

Day 19.  Your child does something to violate your trust; what soundtrack would mark his/her Doomsday?

Not calling my kid a trick but this the first song that came to my head after i read the question so here it is...smh and shrugging.

Day 18 - Don't take it personal, Just one of those days

Day 18.  You are having a very off day and just don’t want to be bothered.

IT BE LIKE THAT SOMETIME...SOMETIME YOU JUST IN A IDGAF MOOD...AND YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE.

Day 17 - Big Payback

Day 17.  Someone has borrowed money from you and has been ducking and dodging you for weeks in regards to payback.

Me and James Brown see eye to eye with this song right here...i ain't gone chase your muhfuggin ass for mine you will get yours...*mash potato*

Day 16 - I'm A Hustla, "Betta ask about me"

Day 16.  The landlord wants his rent money; it’s day twenty and your money is going to be delayed for another ten days.

I don't like playing with folks money and vice versa, so by any means necessary (hook or crook) it's getting covered...yeah i'm bout it baby.


Cassidy = Im a hustla

Day 15 - You saw my blinker BISH!!!

Day 15.  You’re trying to decide which magazine to buy at the check lanes but you are clearly in line.  You are so busy checking out the titles that you don’t notice until it’s too late that someone cut in front of you .

Oh no this bish didn't....you saw me in the line...move dat azz back!!!
This song came to my head by Fresh Prince....

Day 14 - Everywhere I Am

Day 14.  You just experienced a death in the family.

this pic above is my maternal grandmother Flovella Jones its an old picture i scanned it 2 days after her passing to add to her homegoing program... she was beautiful. Miss my granny but she is every where i go ..she is in my every move and i am her legacy. Jaheim's Everywhere I am is a special song to me.

Day 13 - Up In HERE!

Day 13.  Your boss tells you that "your services are no longer needed."

mannnnnnn....My boss better have a good reason to fire me and it bet not be at the end of a bad day or the DMX gonna come outta me. 

Day 12 - Bitch Please

Day 12 - At work dealing with a customer, coworker, or boss who pisses you off. what song goes through your mind? (any stage of this engagement will do)

I gotta turn to my boys Snoop, Nate Dogg (RIP), Xzibit for this one.... Bitch Please is going through my head but maintaining my professionalism and a smirk. C-walk with ya girl OWWW!

Day 11 - Bring It Back -Travis Porter

Day 11 Your doing your work out routine or trying to get motivated to exercise.

This song be having me going on the treadmill...sometime i jump off the treadmill and just dance to this joint...yeah the words are vulgar but okay...this my ish

Day 10 - Hustle Hard...Ace Hood Remix

Day 10.  Getting ready to go to work or looking for work.

my desk at work

SAME OLE SHIT JUST A DIFFERENT DAY OUT HERE TRYNA GET IT EACH AND EVERY WAY....

Day 9 - Speed Demon

Day 9- going and coming from work in traffic

Nothing like a great MJ song to get you through rush hour....

Day 8~ Hot In Hurr/The World is so cold

Day 8- It's extremely hot or cold.

HOT ENUFF TO MELT SOLID BUDDA

TOO COLD
anything by Ginuwine will warm me straight up with no problem...

Day 7 - Musical Challenge - Is that IT?

Day 7.  Which song would represent your worst sexual encounter?  If you haven’t had one yet, which song would play to represent if you had one?

I'm gonna make this short and sweet...i coulda made myself bust a nut before he did. didn't feel a thing either...y'all know him i talked about him in the erotic truth challenge. smh..i don't want no minute or index finger size man.

Day 6 - Musical Truth Challenge - My Nasty Grind

Day 6.  Which song would represent the best sexual experience ever?  If you haven’t had it yet, one from your fantasies?

I have no words for this one just moans groans and screams...grinding painting his face and dripping my Budda all over his member...yeah. Checking out the film after this posts. Here's Adina..

Day 5 - Musical Truth Challenge - No diggity...I'm gone hit that

Day 5.  You’re out on a date you sense the final destination will be horizontal or on top. (winks)

Dinner at his house him looking extra yummy and me being extra aroused...he is talking but i hear nothing i'm imagining his lips on my lower lips and before you know it i stand up walk towards him  undoing my wrap dress and straddle him right at the table...he aint complaining. 

Day 4 - Musical Truth Challenge - Can I take you out tonight?

Day 4.  You’re on a date where the only highlight was the place he selected.

Dinner...Dancing... a few cocktails and a layered conversation on various topics... with Luther Vandross singing in the background.

Day 3 -Musical Truth Challenge - You Are My Everything

Day 3.  Which song best describes your bond with your kids, significant other, or if you don’t have either one of those, your closest/best friend?


My kids are the best thing that has ever happened in my life

Mary J Blige song "My Everything" describes how i feel about those two they are the reason i breath the reason i work so hard and the reason i take so much.

My significant other and I are on a break but this song is special to both of us he sang it to me after a romantic night out and it has been a favorite of mine for a while. Marvin Gaye "If I Should Die Tonight"

listen to the words of this song...he had me tearing up. I love that dude whether he is my friend or my man.

Day 2 - Musical Truth Challenge - We are Family!

2. which song best describes your relationship with your immediate family (mother, father siblings)?

We don't always agree on everything but they are my kin and i love each and everyone of them even if it is from a distance...blood is thicker than mud.
It's a truth blog so I have to be straight up that i have zero relationship with my dad and here is the song to describe my relationship with him.