Goin' through some changes...

I’m going through some changes cause I can’t get what I need at home. After being separated from him for the last 8 weeks I have had time to think and we have had time to talk one on one and get our issues out on the table. This space is driving us both crazy. He handling it better (so i think he is) not cause he has moved on but because he has been confined and away from the ones he loved before. He is now trying to get his life together so he can be the man I want and he needs to be. Where does that leave me? Lonely and missing him like crazy. He was my comfort. If the world was driving me crazy it was his arms I laid in and cried and prayed and felt love from. It was his kiss that made me feel like a little school girl. His smile or wink that put a little extra pep in my step. Yeah things were going all the way bad but it wasn't that bad. I don’t think I’m wrong for putting my foot down and not allowing my feelings and concerns to be put on the back burner. My delivery however could have been better. I came at him with such anger and disrespect I see how he felt I didn't have any type of respect for his feelings. The day before he left to go out of town to work he made love to me (more passionate than before) and held me so tight kissing me on my neck and telling me he loved me…I didn't even think we would end up here. I guess he had to do what he had to do before he started hating me. This year I have said how bad things were for me but he has been there for me. Hook or crook and I haven’t acknowledge that fact. He has endured a lot of my anger, pain, and sadness. I didn't even think about that. I’m in therapy for some issues I’m going through and he has come up in those convos. I really feel I have pushed him away. I don’t think it was easy for him. My children were very confused about him being gone cause we never involved them in our spats, they were clueless. They knew  mommy was happy and he was one of the reasons.

Reason for me writing this is simply to say…I have had time to think through some things and I’m acknowledging I did some wrong. I got back into a relationship with a person whose work persona limits how much of his personal life needs to be known. That when you get involved with a person who is in the “adult entertainment” field sometimes the extra that goes on is what brings the cash into the home. Nothing disrespectful…but the flirting the extra conversation is necessary…I get it. My beef with anyone who has a good woman who has your back and will be there when you are not your best needs not to hang in the background for long. You gotta put the persona up and make her feel like the only girl in the world. You gotta allow her to feel spoiled and important. This goes for anyone who is in the entertainment field. Period. When it creeps into your home and causes doubt then you need to straighten it out asap. Don’t even give her a chance to think about any other person being able to ruin a happy home.

Listen I’m not all that. I’m not thin (never will be) I’m not rich (in money) I’m not the easiest woman to convince (I’m bout action) what I am is a great woman. I take care of my kids, maintain my bills, keep a job,  love God, and I love you from my soul…those are qualities that I am proud of. I will always do right by the people I love. I will still do right even if you do me wrong. I’m not going to be disrespected and never going to be treated like anything less than a lady. I miss my other half…and he misses me but we both know we gotta get things together. I want to carry his last name. I want to be the motivation behind the scenes. I want him to be who and what he told me he would be. We just need to be on the same page…right now we are not. Too bad so sad. God will have the last word on this situation… I've placed my worries,fears, tears, and questions on his altar. My regret now is involving outside people in our spats. Sometime they can drive and wedge with their opinions and/or assumptions of your situation. That was the first and last time i will entrust sensitive information about anything to anyone period. 
What will be, will be i believe  Love never fails…we do. Thanks for reading.

Check this...

I'm so not in a good mood right now It's nothing like reading something and knowing it is directed at you. You know it is cause your words are quoted word for word. I consider myself an open person. I don't hold too much back and I'm sure people can pretty much ignore what i write. Whether I'm on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or Tumblr i say what the fuck i want to say. I do exactly what others say is "too much". No one is reading my stuff....half the crap i post is for my own therapy. So unsubscribe, delete, block or whatever you need to do if you don't care to see it. Its like someone saying SHUT THE FUCK UP NO ONE CARES WHAT YOUR MISERABLE ASS IS GOING THROUGH.  That's fine. I have a lot of things going on in my head and sometimes i want to share and sometimes i just keep it to myself. I can only tell those who disapprove of what's posted to please stay off my shit. Plain and simple. I won't judge what you do and i expect you to step off mine. Whether I'm happy in love, going through a storm or just spilling my guts about what going on in my life...I'm the best person to tell it. I'm the author, narrator, and orchestrator of my life. Bottom line it belongs to me and if i want the www to hear it I'm going to continue to do me. I don't expect anyone to give a shit really. 

Spilt milk....message to the fellas

I'm sure y'all see all my updates and things and I'm in a mood right now. Sometimes you gotta do things you don't want to do. I hate to see anyone else going through a situation that they have the power to change. I always want to offer advice but never tell anyone what they should do. I took alot of things into account when i first started writing this note. 

 i don't live in a fairy tale world. I don't boast or brag about anything that's not going on. I really truly have had a some great times in 2012. I've had a roller coaster of emotions come over me this year. I have felt like i was the luckiest woman and I've felt like i was the being taken for granted. I want to send a message out to the fellas:

Fellas if you have a woman who can see past anything in your past and accept what you are and where you are trying to get to appreciate that woman. there are too many women out here giving away there body and soul for a couple of minutes of pleasure or some monetary bullshit. I'm 35 and i don't have time for that shit. I have a job i have children i have responsibilities. I rely on no one but God for anything. when i woman says i will hold you down and she shows you...you need to spring into action and do whatever you can to keep her happy. She needs to feel what you feel. SUPPORT. She needs to know there isn't a woman in the world that can make you walk away from her. She NEEDS to see some action...let me repeat ACTION. You can have the gift of gab with these hoes a real woman ain't gonna fall for that. She might not say it out loud but TRUST she is watching, listening and waiting for you to SHOW her you are real.Its hard out here right now. People losing jobs, families falling apart, and people are losing their mind. This isn't the time to be SELFISH in any relationship. If you truly LOVE TRUST RESPECT HONOR AND APPRECIATE  that woman SHOW HER or you will lose her and her trust and respect. 

I'm a strong beautiful black woman. I hurt, i bleed, i get angry, i pop off, i vent, i sing, i cry, i write, i love, i nurture....what i don't do is play a fool for anybody. It's not in my DNA. I really truly wish this year was ending on a better note. I was supposed to be planning a wedding right now. I was supposed to be celebrating an anniversary in November. But just like that POOF. Spell was broken...I'm not perfect but what i am is real. I take full responsibility for not cutting this madness sooner. But love is a powerful drug. Not wanting to give up and not wanting to see failure clouded my impulse to just walk away. We shared some great days and some special nights...that person was there for me at the toughest times of my life and that showed me this wasn't fake. It just may not be the right time. Maybe God wanted us to be... i needed him and he needed me. One of us lost their way. If God see's fit maybe we will have another chance to get it right..maybe its the end. Who knows. Fellas i hope you received this. I typed this with no tears in my eyes and no hate in my heart...i found love and i don't regret one minute of it.

I must be a fool...or it's just you

"Telephone line

I sit by and wait for your call

here all alone

wondering who you're talking to 

Maybe I'm a fool in love

Maybe I'm a fool in love

Maybe I should just give up

I'm just a fool in love

Must be a fool in love."

Feeling like a plum dumb fool right now...not a new feeling but a uneasy feeling. Sometimes giving your best ain't good enough. Its like some are so use to the world being  against them they don't know how to handle it when someone has their best interest at heart. You want them to succeed and have something to be proud of. Give them the opportunity to hold their head high even if its not the best circumstances. We all need the support love and even the honesty from the ones they love. Its called unconditional love.When you are programmed in your head that "i'm right and everyone else is wrong" you clearly have life messed up. Obviously your ducks are not completely in a row if shit still is not going in a positive direction. I'm not into kicking people when they are down..never have never will cause i know what that feels like. I'll give a person my last so they won't go hungry angry or be embarrassed but will they go the extra mile for me? Not that i ask for reciprocation for everything i do, but you really do get tired of the lack of support and the extra bullshit that you don't really gotta go through to show a person that you care. Its indeed getting old....real old.

Love and Truth Challenge revisited (sort of)

So i was revisiting a challenge I participated in and i really wish i had an opportunity to revisit this one but that was a tough one to go through. I really truly wish that there were more good than bad things to mention when it comes to matters of the heart. I have learned by re-reading them i am making some same mistakes in my current relationship. Difference is we have a tighter bond than my prior relationships. 

Hindsight... baby is a motherfucker. I got people calling me and telling me I haven't left their mind and they couldn't really move on after doing me wrong. Some just bluntly throw the new chick up in my face like i care. I actually pray for a better outcome for them. I have been bitten by the love bug and spit out like old gum way too many times. I have the experience to know that if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck...the muthafucka is a duck. You cannot rewrite a bad novel and resale it to me....with a new cover. 

I really do have mad love for my man right now. I want him to be successful. I want him to feel like he deserves me. Yes DESERVES me. I will no longer belittle my worth for any type of love. I want to be his wife one day but i want all demons and all that out his system. I will not go into another year feeling the way i did mid way through this year. Yeah i know it has its ups and downs but like I've said in many blogs I'm not into roller-coasters and i will get off when I'm ready. No man on this Earth will have the chance to say i got my way with her and didn't have to work for it.

I'm starting to worry more as i grow older but i shouldn't. What will be will be. I worry bout bills, kids and health. I crave stability. I'm talking bout that $200million dollar security. It's coming... maybe not the money but i will have my stability. Come hell or high water baby i claim it. I'm not going to suffer, be bitter, or go into some anti-man shell fuck that.

Love and the Truth will set you free....

Those who still stop by my blog and drop a line or two thank you those who breeze by thank you too nosey butt. Goodnight y'all.

Untitled...

Destiny is what brought us close

we are turned on by the sound of each others voice

the whisper of i love you in the loudest room

comes crystal clear to my ear

makes my heart skip a beat

makes me feel the sonic boom

i justify my feelings from the spinning of this room

I'm in love I'm in love I'm in love

on repeat surround sound too

breathing slowly so i can turn down this tune

insatiable is how i feel when I'm with you

I'm lost in your arms

i swoon like the movies

from some things you do

i never knew a love like this before

hmmm i should say true

you simply satisfy me

you make me feel good

you sing the sexiest serenade

you make the hakuna matata ooze

purr even a sudden monsoon

you make love to every inch

every limb

you perform the whole set

no censor no mute button

just me the camera and you

many would think i worry cant i trust you

the question is if your word is your bond

I'm gone ride or die for you too.

~Lykebudda2012~

Back to Business...

im an open book

 but i desire to close it

things are hard for me noone knows it

cause the strong woman in front of you has plenty of aches

has plenty of pains

has a lot of loss

but so much more to gain

the spirit of love is in a frenzy

the spirit of hate has risen up in me

the spirit of self doubt offends me

the angel of self love is dimming

trial and tribulations are deep

gets me restless

depriving me of sleep

the thought of my future often looks bleek

cause i have some monster hiding inside of me

i cant let him have Angie

thats not what God has placed before my feet

the strength of a man indeed 

to take on anything that tries to hinder me

evaluating my surroundings 

know i have so much more heaven around me

i need to take in the good air

and leave those demons to fight

they never fight fair

this pen has been in cessation

but i have something to say

some real shit for your ass expression....get ready for this trip

Lykebudda is back scribing with a mission

to save you all from the bs

its time to bring the wrath....its time to get back to business.

~Lykebudda2012©~ all rights reserved  

Random Write (poem)

Listening to my heart

Boom boom boom boom

Its strong its alert

Its stable

It is not without scars

It is within normal limits

Nothing gets close enough to penetrate it

My past

My present

My feelings

My dealing

My world is in need of constant change

Nip tuck here and there

My alarms are on my bs meter is on sensitive

That’s all I got right now

That’s all I can give

I’m in need of rescue

I am fleeing for refuge

I don’t want to contain this flame

that is burning

to be exposed

you know that love that makes your toes

curl

head swirl

wake up feeling like a brand new girl

just don’t want the rug pulled out

open the door for distrust

I’ve learned from the best no doubt

all I want is a clear shot

to be truly happy

no bullshit

I’ve had enough of that…it must feel real

or I’m throwing the deuces.

~Lykebudda™2012©~

Its deep (collab featuring Mr. Deep)

 As Deep entered the house he called out his wife's name ”Budda are you home bae” no answer he placed his keys in the dish and noticed there was a message saying ”cum on up” he smirks slightly cause he knows his love is up to something. He quickly gets out his coat and shoes and makes his way up the stairs at the landing there is a message ”go to the bathroom” the jacuzzi is filled with bubbles and he wastes no time stripping away his garments. A glass of his favorite alcoholic beverage is chilled and sweating next to the tub. He gulps it down...and lays his head back. She is watching from the door ass he drifts into relaxation. Its time to remind him why he married her. She hesitates cause she is in awe of the magnificent man placed before her.as she enters the bathroom he awakens and motion for her to join him. Heavy kissing and petting ensues and before long...
(*DEEP*)
 He holds his breath at the beauty before him as his eyes linger ova his black queen an decides to show her something new he says don't move an take a deep breath an submerges himself under the water to devour her pussy in a way she has never experience before. His sweet suckles and lick gently climb to orgasmic levels she has only experienced with him, her lover, an friend as he forcefully grabs her ass to press that sweet bud of flesh to his mouth  as his last mins of air are just enough for her to reach a climax...
He the positions him self to rise up out of the water and to enter her love tunnel... at the same time  sending a new wave of pleasure to all her senses as his sweet kisses rain down on her so lovingly. When she looks into his eyes, she sees the need  for him to lose control and she gives her consent. He grabs both of her legs an place them in the bends of his elbows and begins to deliver stroke after powerful stroke till she can only hold on to him an enjoy the ride as he continually hits her g-spot an she is cumin so much she cant tell where one ends an the next begins they are running together as one complete sensory overload as he bites her neck in multiple places to lick suck an caress with his second most deadly weapon his tongue and he tells her over an over he loves her and all the ways he is in love as well as the pull of her body to him The love of her life is proclaiming his love and making her juices flow freely...he gently lifts her from the tub never missing a beat and carries her into their adjoining bedroom to continue the lovemaking...dries her off and dives back into Making her squirm as he butters her thighs and licks her buddaspot....
(*BUDDA*)

 She had different plan for the night but knows her man loves to please his queen he flips her over and examines her plump derriere and grabs the oil off the nightstand to message her back she knows she has to regain control or Her plans may go awry but her love for her man is insatiable she dare not decline when he touches her she melts. When he loves on her she weeps in pleasure. His hands feel like butter his fine frame is one of a Greek God. He strokes her from the back as he rubs her back gently the flood gates are opens he stops to catch 

Smiles down with love at the wonderful voluptuous ass is placed into his hands as he pounds himself from behind she thinks they'll become one from the persistent pace of playing with her clit an him beating it up from the back He reaches down an she thinks its just for a reposition hold when he grabs both legs below the knee for her to rest on her elbows an chest with her as in the air so high that he has a easier way to invade the deepest places inside her womb loving every drop of budda spilled against his balls the constant screams are driving him wild with pleasure to know that his woman loves the way he pleases her body an knows many different ways to please her sexual appetite. He shudders but never stops his rhythm of loving his wife this is the woman of his wildest dreams she compliments him in so many ways his only desire is to please her an make her happy she never wonders about his loves because he does all the little things as well as the big, that make her so happy on the inside an out. Their bond of lovemaking has yet to be experienced by any one else because the way they love each other they never really shared with anyone in their past They both sing a constant mantra of i love u to each other. Their love for each other is truly selfless their love is patient an kind when needed the love making is their affirmation to one another in so many ways that's why their convos can be had without words because they speak to each others hearts....to be continued

Goin through it

No this ain't about my love life...this about my life period. I've been trying to stay busy and do things that distract my brain from the anxiety I've been experiencing. Reading praying cleaning...and back to praying. Music my kids anything to stop my brain from churning. The devil is busy trying to get me on his team and it will never happen.God had been great to me. He has been everything I needed when I thought I was missing out on things. I'm starting to shut folks out and I shouldn't but its my best defense. I think there are people out there who pray against you. I say to them you are fighting a losing battle. My chief is stronger than yours...he has better weapons and more powerful words. Devil get behind me better yet under my feet. You are not welcomed and none if your weapons shall prosper in my world. Thank you lord for giving me some calm in my life. Those who pray with me and for what I may be facing thank you. Thank you for not asking many questions or feeling some way that I'm so quiet. Love y'all. Have a pleasant Sunday.

Can I breath again? Yes I can.

I’ve tried to just muffle this joy… I have been silent about what is taken place in my world. I have had a lot of question marks, exclamation points, and very firm periods over these last couple years. I have placed a block on my heart and it’s hard to penetrate this security system that many have been briefly interfaced. I’m not  beyond repair its just on high alert and in need of the real thing. I think…I think, I hope, I pray that Mr. Forever has entered my world. I have been head over heels for a man before…but this time it’s the other way around. He is so into me. Caters to me, Calms me, assures me and apologizes for whatever I have been through that has me questioning his every move and vice versa. We are >>>>>here<<<< yo.

I REALLY exhaled this week he asked me something that I have been dying to hear for my whole life…I didn’t say no. I didn’t say yes. I said it’s a possibility. For the first time in a long time I felt like a school girl. I’ve been celibate for a few months and it hasn’t worked for several fellas  I have talked to, they find out the coochie on clink-clink and they keep it moving. *shrugs* so what. I have no interest in being anyone’s girlfriend for the rest of my life. I thought long and hard about what I want to do with my 2012. Ever since early 2008 I have been in this endless circle of bad romance. I am wore out…I can’t take another heartbreak.

Mr. Forever doesn’t come without “baggage” he has a story too. Not used to a chick like me. But ready for the real thing. There is nothing more sexy than a man who wants to learn everything about you. What makes you laugh what makes you cry…your dreams your lows and highs… I missed getting those “I’m thinking about you, how’s your day, your beautiful, winks kisses, prayers…cute quotes. I get them without saying a word…visit at lunch time just to put a smile on my face…that type of shit makes me feel special. When you got to force someone to say sweet nothings its redundant. He is putting it on me...in more ways than one (mind your biz

I know one or more of my exes read the stuff I post so I’m going to say this:

 You were a very important person in my life. I loved you. I prayed for you. I was good to you. But you were never for me and I was never for you. I thank you for your many painful lessons. The long nights of crying, questioning my worth, and heartache. I can only hope you seek out and find what truly makes you happy cause it obviously wasn’t me. I am moving forward for the benefit of my heart. I have realistic expectations that someone will love me the way I need love and accept what I have to give with open arms. It’s your loss I may not be perfect, but I am worthy of a try. Too bad I didn’t get that chance *record stopping* scratch that you didn't  take the time to appreciate my worth. Take care and have a great life. I must let you go to allow him to love me unconditionally. Love always, Budda.

I feel so free y'all I pray for the day when I will be able to say I’m glad you were the best thing I never had…its coming. everyone and everything happens for a reason. I know believe me I know. stay tuned this story can only get better. Toddles people.

Zen = Peace in mind body and spirit

Urban dictionary defines Zen as follows: One way to think of zen is this: a total state of focus that incorporates a total togetherness of body and mind. Zen is a way of being. It also is a state of mind. Zen involves dropping illusion and seeing things without distortion created by your own thoughts. 
I started to write what were things i did to find my place of Zen but i ran across these helpful tips that i plan on adding to my day to day to help me live a calmer life. I hope it helps you too. ~Budda

Zen is a way of being. It also is a state of mind.

Zen involves dropping illusion and seeing things without the distortion created by your own thoughts. I submit that we (Westerners) are often so distracted in our multi-task-driven lives that we barely have time to breathe, let alone find anything near the aim of the Mahayana Buddhists.

We can all use a little piece of Zen in our lives, if only for a moment. And while these suggestions may only be baby steps, they are hopefully steps in the right direction.

1. Zen through your eyes: Simply close your eyes. It’s amazing how much we can take in and how much we can wear out our poor pupils, especially sitting in front of computer screens all day. Give your lids a rest and close them – if only for a minute of solitude.

2. A zenful breath: Ujjayi is a yoga breathing technique used to try and center one’s focus away from all the many distractions in our daily life. The simplest way to describe the Ujjayi technique is to pretend you are holding a mirror in front of you and exhale and inhale deeply towards that imaginary mirror as though you were trying to fog it up. Now close your mouth, breathe through your nose as you remain aware of that same quality of breath (a Darth Vader-like breath, similar to the sound of the ocean). This sound is continued through a slight closing off of the back of the throat during both your inhales and exhales. Try breathing as deeply as you can using this technique for 20 full breaths to see what its effects are for your body.

3. The sound of Zen: Play a mix of your favorite calming tunes. Try sacred or classical music if you prefer something purely instrumental, or new age artists like TJ Rehmi and Enya for slightly more upbeat – yet meditative in their own way.

4. A sip of Zen: The benefits of green tea are many including lowering of “bad” cholesterol (LDL), helping to prevent cancer, reducing high blood pressure, lowering blood sugar and destroying the bacteria that forms plaque. Try a cup of Tazo’s Zen green tea when you need a meditative moment, with a side of health-minded benefits.

5. The scent of Zen: Use aromatherapy lotions or oil sprays (diluted oils in a spray bottle) at your desk, home or even in your car to surround yourself with the instant soothing scent of lavender or bergamot, the comforting aroma of vanilla, chamomile’s relaxing benefits or meditative effect of sandalwood.

6. The beauty of Zen: Take a moment to create something expressive…write a poem, song lyrics, a quick sketch or collage…something fun, creative and artistic. It’s during these moments of creativity that we can find peace and rejuvenation.

7. The path to Zen: It’s simple, it’s comfy, it’s a toasty pair of clean socks. That’s right, something as easy as changing into a new pair of socks during the middle or end of your day can give you a new found rejuvenation.

8. Understand Zen: If stress is piling up around you at work or home, take a few minutes to bring your awareness to the greater meaning of it all. 

9. Sharing Zen: We send out mass emails, forwards and e-cards, and rarely see personalized mail anymore. Pass on a bit of Zen through the unexpected personalized email or letter to a friend or family member – just because.

10. Healing touch of Zen: Aches and pains distract us from fully focusing on the present moment or task at hand. Help relieve the distracting tension by throwing a warm heating pad on those sore shoulders, neck or lower back.

I really hope these are helpful.

Youth - 35 years young

Young budda above didn't know any pain, any strife...she didn't know her mother's heart was broken. She didn't know nothing but that she was lucky to be alive. See young Budda was a granny favorite when we moved back home after the separation of her mother and father. All she knew is she loved her granny house and her cooking and her ability to keep mommy from whooping on her and her siblings...

Seventeen year old Budda graduating from high school. She was just at the beginning of discovering herself. She over the years has witnessed poverty, domestic violence, and watching her mother bust her ass to keep a roof over her head. Attempted molestation and an intervention by God leading her away from the normal trouble most teens get into. Having a job kept her out of trouble and away from pregnancy, drugs and other things most youth fall into. Graduated with honors and with dignity.

Today i turned 35 years old i bring with me lots of experience in love...that real love the one i can only find in my children's eyes. Today November 24th is also Thanksgiving Day...i have so much to be thankful for. I said i wouldn't shout them out cause i already spoke to my god about them. He provides me with all that i have and doesn't give me more than i can handle. I feel young because i know there is alot of life ahead of me and I'm going to appreciate everything i have been through...the journey has lots of twist and turns and I'm ready for it.

X-Factor

I was going to write a paragraph about how some ex-boyfriends suck but i no longer plan on addressing those of my past anymore. Not worth my time and energy.

Weakness

I would say my weakness is loving and to be loved but I'm not feelinh it right now. But I will have a fat girl moment and share what foodsv make me weak.
Seafood- smothered in garlic butter it can be shrimp lobster or catfish. I love it. Throws me way off my dirty plan.
Baked chicken - filet or whole.its a must have in my freezer
Junk food- Nutty buddy ice cream chewy lemonhead candy
Frozen veggies - broccoli cauliflower asparagus spears
Cakes -casada cakes and apple pie
Sides -garlic mashed potatoes and homemade macaroni and cheese.

These foods make me weak...and fast but I love en and plan on eating them all this weak.

Validation ~ Checks out

I've been actually hovering over this blog for a few days. I have a big issue with a lot of things in my life right now. Relationship issues I don’t have cause I no longer have a relationship. As the days go by I notice we don’t talk as much, text or even take the time to make time for each other anymore. Basically it’s over and there may be no fixing it. I never in my life needed a man to validate if I’m worthy of anything. I add value to myself. I make me look good. My skills make me an asset. So if I’m the loneliest girl in the world it’s because of my doing, not cause of whose in my life and who isn't.

 I used to think no one will want me if he doesn’t. After several years of bad relationships, I’m pushing back from the spectrum and just observing. I won’t be pining over no one and crying over nothing. This was my position in late 2009 and I let love back in and it wasn’t bad but it was a lesson. When that was over amicably we stayed friends and still are cool…no strings attached. Then lost love shows up and sweeps me off my feet only to drop me when the going got tough. My ass is starting to hurt from being dropped so many times.

 I need to value my sanity and protect what little heart I have left. Rebuild my trust and my faith in love. I don’t wanna keep rambling but this is what flashed in my head when I started typing validation. I love so hard and am so faithful. I am starting to think is it worth it? Maybe I should be a money hungry bitch that gives up the goodies and gets her bills paid with no love lost. Not in my nature but hey a change may be in order…I won’t validate if I follow through lol.

Uniquely Me

Unable to categorized

Nice lips, healthy thighs

I stand for the truth despises lies

Quiet beast, outspoken, refined

Unmasked I never hide, my true feelings

Empathetic, uncensored, free to be me.

Unique.

~Lykebudda©2011~

Triumph

Triumph

Victory

Success

Achievement

Blessed

Overcome

No stress

No mess

No more crying

No more sighing

A smile 

A laugh

A prayer silently answered

A hug 

A happy tear

A life without fear

a miracle

A calling

A generation curse destroyed

I lifelong journey endured

I acquittal in court

A signal that you have moved forward. 

Triumph.

~Lykebudda™©2011~

Secrets - We all have em, I guess?

Everyone has them but you know some live so high on the hill they think people don’t know what they are really up to. I don’t have many secrets cause I feel like I’m a free spirit and some things I share and some are on a need to know kind of basis. If it aint your business you just don’t know. A secret to me is you slept with your home girl man, and you nor him tell the friend. You hang around laughing and listening to her gloat about him and don’t say a damn thing. When the secret erupts the trust is gone cause you didn’t care enough to keep it 100. I can’t stand the kind of stuff. I’m sitting here and trying to think of a recent secret I had to keep…but I got nothing. There are plenty of skeleton’s that come up when a person place or thing is mentioned but nothing that would be deemed a secret to me. Some things are best kept to yourself…if I tell you something about me its because I trust you. 

Revelations ~ The Truth

I was going to the Bible on this one but changed my mind. Time will reveal everything that's done in the dark. These people with hidden agendas and motives will all have their day. The truth shall set you free and a lie will hold you hostage cause you have to keep lying to cover up the initial lie. That's bout all the knowledge I'll drop on this.