So i was revisiting a challenge I participated in and i really wish i had an opportunity to revisit this one but that was a tough one to go through. I really truly wish that there were more good than bad things to mention when it comes to matters of the heart. I have learned by re-reading them i am making some same mistakes in my current relationship. Difference is we have a tighter bond than my prior relationships.
Hindsight... baby is a motherfucker. I got people calling me and telling me I haven't left their mind and they couldn't really move on after doing me wrong. Some just bluntly throw the new chick up in my face like i care. I actually pray for a better outcome for them. I have been bitten by the love bug and spit out like old gum way too many times. I have the experience to know that if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck...the muthafucka is a duck. You cannot rewrite a bad novel and resale it to me....with a new cover.
I really do have mad love for my man right now. I want him to be successful. I want him to feel like he deserves me. Yes DESERVES me. I will no longer belittle my worth for any type of love. I want to be his wife one day but i want all demons and all that out his system. I will not go into another year feeling the way i did mid way through this year. Yeah i know it has its ups and downs but like I've said in many blogs I'm not into roller-coasters and i will get off when I'm ready. No man on this Earth will have the chance to say i got my way with her and didn't have to work for it.
I'm starting to worry more as i grow older but i shouldn't. What will be will be. I worry bout bills, kids and health. I crave stability. I'm talking bout that $200million dollar security. It's coming... maybe not the money but i will have my stability. Come hell or high water baby i claim it. I'm not going to suffer, be bitter, or go into some anti-man shell fuck that.
Love and the Truth will set you free....
Those who still stop by my blog and drop a line or two thank you those who breeze by thank you too nosey butt. Goodnight y'all.
4 comments:
I'm happy to hear you're so happy Budda. Happiness is certainly in your future.
think im just living Reg no extra pressure anymore...thanks as always
I tried to revisit that challenge too. My views on some things have changed, others, not so much.
I didn't finish it, but it was daunting and Reggie told me he was tired of the subject of love and I had to agree, LOL.
I too am glad you're happy. :)
yeah it was raising some old feelings up but very therapeutic to do....i wouldnt repeat it
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